Eyes to See the Sun
by carved in the sand
Summary: Because her perfect sight had only ever been compromised by him. - NaruHina/two shot
1. you & me

**A/N: Yes I deserve to write a really long author's note. Naruto has ended and this is over fifteen thousand words Humor me. **

_1) *clears throat* *fluffs up hair* NARUHINA IS FUCKING CANON SASUSAKU IS FUCKING CANON SHIKATEMA IS FUCKIGN CANON AND AND AND I AHVE NEVER BEEN MORE CONTENT WTH MY EXISTENCE. NO IM NOT OVER IT. CHAPTER 700 IS LITERALLY BAD FANFICTION. CHOUCHOU IS DAMN ADORABLE. SASUKE APOLOGIZED. SARADA HAS ITACHI'S EYES. EVERYONE IS SO SALTY ABOUT IT. THE SASUKARIN FANDOM IS LITERALLY TRYING TO STEAL SARADA FROM US. I CANNTHGOT. I BNANCOOT BELIEVE- NO WAIT IM LYIN I DO BELIEVE I BELIEVED SFOR TSO LONG SO SO LONGHG SIX YEARS BITCHES KISHIMOTO CAME THRU THE CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP CAME THRU. _

_2)*hyperventilates a bit* *rolls around in my nest of pairings with cute children* *sobs violently over Chouchou*_

_3) I'm spectacularly happy with the end of Naruto, you guys. It's weird. Naruto looks like a gym teacher in that picture of the Uzumaki/Hyuuga and Gaara looks like a youth pastor. I am still goddamn _content_. _

_4) Throughout everything, and throughout my unending love for this manga, I have come to the conclusion that this fandom sorely lacks in quality Hinata-centric fics. So this is me having fun with her development and reliving NaruHina once more. _

_5) NaruHina isn't my all time OTP, even from Naruto because that spot belongs to SASUSAKU, but I truly have a special connection to this ship. I can't explain it. When chapter 615 came out two years ago, I became a Hinata Hyuuga Defense Squad blog for three months straight. I reread the Pein arc chapters. I read a shit ton of fanfiction. I wrote a shit ton of fanfiction. I shipped NaruHina with a new vengeance. I made them a new OTP tag on my blog. I went through hell and back with them, defending her character and the ship and the beauty of the chapter, as well as all their development that people want to shit on._

_6) Because I won't say that Kishimoto was the best writer when it comes to female characters, and I won't say that he executed Hianta perfectly, BUT NARUHINA HAD THEIR DEVELOPMENT...AS CHARACTERS AND AS A SHIP. _

_7) Hinata had her fucking development. It's there. No one is gonna hold your fucking hand through it if you can't see it (although if you're trying to read this fic...then you probably already agree, but I want to rant anyways). Hinata grew because of how inspired Naruto made her - development tied to Naruto, like Neji and Gaara. People still shit on her for this, though...like...I can't stand it. Both of those lovely boys are always thinking about Naruto whenever they have panel time. Especially Gaara. But everyone loves him. I don't get it. I'm not saying she is the most developed character. Obviously _**not**_. She isn't a main character. I wouldn't expect her to. But Hinata has her own backstory, her own feelings, and her own goals. _

_8) Also, I think that's where Hinata haters fuck up the most: Naruto is not Hinata's end game. She wants to be strong and fix her clan. _

_9) Maybe people interpret her wanting to "walk beside him" differently than me, so I guess that's just interpretation. I think she would accept him not being in love with her. Making it look like being with Naruto was some kind of goal in her life makes her love loook selfish. I don't like that. She's more than that. _

_10) And can we note that when the chapter spoilers came out, I was so not worried about NaruHina becoming canon? I didn't care. I knew. I was sure in their canon status, you guys._

_11) Sooooo...this is my homage to NaruHina, I guess. I hope you all enjoy._

_12) Since I started writing things months before Naruto and Sasuke decided to hack off each other's arms: this fic is technically AU - mostly because Kaguya doesn't exist in this. I personally liked Madara as a final villain moreso. Everyone still went through Infinite Tsukiyomi and lived through their perfect dream. Sasuke didn't go Viva La Revolution on everyone. Also Neji is still dead. And Shikaku/Inoichi. _

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

.

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact

So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass

I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky

You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

.

.

.

Hinata felt her hands clench and strain into Jyuuken-poised palms - because she did not want to leave _bruises_, nothing as petty as a_ flesh wound_ - as her mouth drew into a straight line of thin lips.

"We have come to no other conclusion, Hinata-sama."

"This is not just for your own benefit, but for that of the clan."

She breathed deeply, once, twice and blinked slowly before opening her eyes again. She waited a final moment to find soft enough words for them, while her heart was still aching in her chest. "This is not...a mutually beneficial decision," Hinata replied, keeping her eyes just above their heads to the small scratch four feet above her grandfather's head. "The appropriate word would be unnecessary."

"Producing an heir is one of the most necessary parts of your duties."

"I have been in this position just shy of six months, and you believe that _forcing an engagement_ is what is best for me?" Hinata said slowly, trying to keep her malice from her words. It did not work very well.

"Of course. An heir is needed," her great uncle, Hibashi, said easily, the smoked wood in his voice growing sharp. Her right hand twitched menacingly, but he held firm. "You are still an active kunoichi, and duty can take your life at any moment. Having you dead would bring disarray to the Hyuuga. There are many who desperately vie for the power of clan head, Hinata-sama."

She was shaking her head before he'd even finished. "Hanabi would automatically take my role, and she is well equipped to do so. No one would contest her right. Give more credit to our family."

"He doesn't speak lies."

"And neither do I when I say that it is _unnecessary_ for me to be married at this time," Hinata replied sharply.

Hibashi titled his head as he stared calculatingly at her. "Is that truly your decision to make?" he prompted.

Her face visibly drained of blood, but she stared them down regardless, trying to match the blankness in their eyes.

"Every decision is mine to make," Hinata said. "Am I not your superior?"

Hinata left the room before someone else could speak, the calloused pads of her feet brushing against the wooden floors of her home in a whisper, brush strokes on a plain painting. The cold shard of something bitter, something angry in her throat made her whole body twitch and seize in retaliation, wanting to break something, wanting to hear glass shatter and wood snapping. But she carefully tucked away the malice under the mask of impassivity, carefully slid the shoji door closed door behind her, carefully made her way into her study.

Her hands shook the whole way.

.

.

.

Six months ago, when Hinata sat with her father beside his hospital bed, she watched him cough out something too close to a death rattle as he spoke.

It had been like that for the past few weeks - staying by his bedside for his company whenever she had the time, speaking to him about the paperwork she was finishing for him, bringing him fresh fruit from the gardens, discussing doctor reports that grew bleaker and bleaker as time wore on. Disease ate away at him more slowly than any enemy had. It was a new ritual, cultivated by the growing desire to spend more time with the father that saw her as the heir to his throne rather than a biological failure on his part.. It was strategic, finding any second she could spend with him. Sometimes Hanabi was there, when she wasn't out on missions, but usually it was just the two of them. She found a semblance of peace within it.

Even if he looked more sickly with each passing day, he was _there_. So Hinata would take whatever she could get.

The blackness of night pulled over them, no light to pull away the shadows, but the shadows could not envelop her father's form fully into darkness. He breathed thick and wet, pumping air in and out of his damaged lungs with too much effort. "I officially named you heir years ago, but there is still training to be done. You're...young. Too young. Much younger than I was when I took up this position," Hiashi ground out, laying a hand down on her pale wrist. He gripped hard, frail fingers and withered flesh a padlock against her skin."But you have _long_ since laid my doubts to rest."

She couldn't fight the smile that crept onto the edges of her lips.

She couldn't fight the tears either.

.

.

.

They had the ceremony the next week. It was a small, quiet affair - right after her father's funeral service. The clan elders, a few family members, Kurenai and her daughter, her team, Tenten, Lee, and all of Team Kakashi attended, still swathed in black. She stood out against them, in front of them, changed from her own mourning clothing into an elaborate lavender kimono with white flower petals stitched into it and a thick white obi. All eyes in the room connected to her.

She felt tight, uncomfortable in the formal dress, and heavily out of place - it bordered on painful. The loss of security was stifling.

From the platform in front of the tatami mats, Hinata sat beside her uncle, Hibashi, and recited the oath that formally named leader of the Hyuuga. There was pleasant murmuring as Hibashi left the platform to claim a seat with the rest of the elders as she stood.

Without conscious though, without even a sliver of knowledge, she sought out Naruto's eyes as if an anchor out at see. He looked strained and tired, dressed in all black that washed out the gold of his skin, a flash bright hair and warm skin amidst dark clothing and pale eyes. He gave her a hesitant smile that she returned, although she ached to reach out and grasp his hand, have him whisper words of courage to her before she came up here to falter. Hinata felt foreign and uncomfortable standing before them, in clothes hard to move in and hair that was done up heavily on her head.

There had been no time in the past few days to write up a speech, but she had words of her own, more personal than words to recite onto them. This was her family, her friends to watch her ascend to this new, shaky role.

"Tragedy has brought us here tonight," she spoke, flinching when the softness of her voice carried out weak and unconvincing. She continued on in a strained tone. "I hoped that my father would be with me here to today as he passed on his title to me. It would have been a few years time, when I would be older and wiser. I hoped to be in a position where I could be a better leader for you all. But I am a shinobi. I do not rely on hope."

She could see Naruto and Kiba's grins from smiles away, but the curving of Shino's dark eyes and the twitch of his smile really made her stomach churn with warmth. Her voice grew stronger without her even noticing. "I have rely on the capacity of work that my own hands have sought accomplish," Hinata said, holding out her calloused palms before them. "I have relied on my strength of will to create, to build, to make anew. I have relied on my friends, my fellow shinobi, and my family. My life is an architectural wonder that I have built through the pillars of those who reside inside of it, to strengthen me and my own goals."

Her hands fell to her sides, and so did her eyes, following the line of the wooden floors as she continued speaking. "That is what you have all been to me - pillars of structure and support in my life, just as the Hyuuga have been a pillar of support to the Hidden Leaf. That is what I have wanted to emulate ever since my father named me heiress once again. It is my turn to uphold the Hyuuga name," Hinata said, bowing low and grasping her hands tightly in front of her. "So please rely on me."

She waited a moment before she rose, standing straight and stepping away from the raised stage, focusing all her energy on not stumbling. The blood pounding hot through her body almost distracted her from her teammates.

Kiba's hand was already proffered, gripping her upper arm and grinning more fiercely than a hunter capturing prey. She smiled at him, reaching out her other hand for Shino's incoming form. He took it, squeezing hard. The fierce pride they exuded washed over her as they spoke silently between each other.

And then a large, warm hand pressed against the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Immediately she knew who it was.

Her entire body went hot, then cold as she turned away from her teammates to face him. The bags under his eyes made him look older, shadowing his face and the hard line of his jaw. "I'm _so_ proud of you," Naruto murmured. Hinata's face turned a curious shade of pink when she_felt_ teammates gave very peculiar, nearly matching smirks that she'd grown used to over the years.

"Th-thank you so much, N-naruto-kun. For...for being here," she said, utterly uncomposed, pulling away from him and turning around to give him her own smile. She took a long, deep breath, and tried again, trying not to sound sixteen again. "Thank you...for being here for me."

_For everything_, she thought wistfully. Her throat bubbled up with sudden, unwanted emotion as her eyes began to sting. _Every single thing you've given to me._

He shook his head. Naruto reached for her hand and squeezed it hard. "Don't thank me. This is all on you."

"How can I not?" Hinata replied, squeezing back.

.

.

.

Shino was the polar opposite of Kiba, but a different side of the same coin to Hinata. They were uncommonly similar at times, the threads of their lives and their habits woven tightly together through friendship and time. He worked so in tandem with her on missions that they coordinated movements without question. On the day to day, their thoughts have a way of mimicking and lilting together in the same course, their ideas tangled together, and even their tastes linking together.

Kiba would always be impossibly close - a friend as good as family, but Shino just knows a little more, a little better, with their natures being so similar.

So it's natural to her when he knows that she's gotten herself into trouble.

It doesn't make the whole thing less embarrassing.

Hinata sat slumped forward at her favorite tea house, twisting small macaroons between her fingers as she stared down at them, her appetite waning. They sat by one of the large windows, at the far left side of the room. The seats were old and wooden, worn with age and heavy use, but still managed an aesthetically pleasing antique adage. Shino had barely touched his tea, while she was working through her's. But now, everything looked a bit drearier. It was hard to ignore the muck of her emotions, the sadness that pulled through even her best attempts at putting her thoughts elsewhere, so she struggled against the silence.

It had been two weeks, and she was already crumbling.

"Are you sure there is no other way that you can avoid this?" Shino asked, the sharp clinical side of his voice going soft with care.

She nodded slowly, pinching the cookie between her forefinger and thumb before it split in half, falling back onto the table. "They've...they've _voted_ on it...like my future is something that they can decide on a whim," Hinata murmured. Her face pinched with a buried strain. "I have no say. My uncle said that they will find a way to remove me from my position as clan head if I don't go through with it. I'm not sure if they can carry it through, but I don't - I don't want to see them try. I don't want my family turning against me."

The dark haired man was shaking his head before she even before she finished. She could not see his eyes through the dark sunglasses that obscured his face, but the strain in his shoulders underneath his jacket didn't lie to her. "You realize the error in your ways, do you not? Relating clan business too closely to those of a genuine family? I believe you are starting to see it clearly now. The only one you should be trusting right now is Hanabi-san," Shino said, leaning back in his seat. Hinata sighed softly.

"I know."

"I can't fault you for it."

"I know."

"And Naruto will be here in a few minutes."

Hinata jerked up, looking at Shino with wide, confused eyes as she felt the familiar chakra come nearer to them. "W-why now? Isn't he supposed to be- be _working_?" she whispered harshly, looking around at the quiet little tea house and feeling a sharp jolt of anxiety through her gut.

This wasn't afternoon tea. This was _an ambush_.

"When is he ever doing his job in the first place?"

The sudden urge to skip out on the restaurant filled her entire body.

"Don't even think about it," Shino said, taking a languid sip of his tea before speaking again. "I promised him I'd make sure you wouldn't run away this time."

"Shino!"

"The only way you correct a problem is to face it head on."

"You _know_ I'm trying to avoid him!" Hinata whispered hotly, glaring unkindly at her teammate.

"I KNEW IT."

A blur of orange and yellow poofed to life through smoke and leaves, and before their table, Naruto stood, pointing heatedly at Hinata with the reddest face she had ever seen. She felt her own face flush when he started shouting heavily, the thought of every single person in the restaurant being able to hear them right now making the blush on her face burn even brighter.

"I KNOW WHEN SOMEONE'S AVOIDING ME. I'M THE HOKAGE. WE ARE TALKING _RIGHT NOW_."

"You've been Hokage for three days."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, SHINO."

"Naruto-kun, _please_ lower your voice! We can't-!"

"NO. WE ARE SETTLING THIS LIKE ADULTS _RIGHT NOW_."

"This wasn't the best idea."

Shino sighed loudly, still holding his tea cup elegantly in his hand. There was a bored look on his face, as if he'd already seen this coming. Hinata looked at him with sharp eyes, heaving out frustrated breaths and feeling painfully betrayed. "I _do_ suggest that you two handle this away from prying eyes...and ears...you don't need any more gossip circling around you," the Aburame said, giving his teammate a pointed look. "Settle this now. In a much lower decibel than him."

Hinata pursed her lips for a long moment before swiftly standing, grasping Naruto by the wrist, and dragging him out of the tea house.

The dark haired man sighed, finished his tea, and placed a few ryo on the table. He walked over towards the other side of the tea house to where a blonde sat by herself, reading a large book and entertaining a cup of ginseng tea. She looked up at him for a moment, a smile crawling up her face as she desperately tried restraining it.

"That loud idiot," the woman said happily. "He made that so easy."

He sat before her, smirking in a self satisfied, muted way. "That worked better than I thought," Shino said.

The blonde looked up, bright green eyes melting into a familiar pale white as she smiled deviously, before the Henge came up again. "Of course it did," Hanabi said, tossing a thick wave of hair over her shoulder as she leaned back in her chair. "It was _my_ idea."

"Be that as it may, it is a known fact that they can both be _incredibly_ thick. I had my doubts for ample reason," Shino replied, adjusting his glasses and staring at the disguised Hyuuga calculatingly. "We need to do more than just whisper a few manipulating words and give vague direction to Naruto."

Hanabi rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Why are you even wasting your energy worrying?"

"Why _shouldn't_ I?"

She smiled prettily, a vicious lilt in the curve of her lips, giving him a generous wink. "Because you have me."

.

.

.

After the war, there was no declaration of love. There were no kisses, no sudden bouts of affection, no smile that told the feelings that grew inside her chest long ago. She could remember no pleasantries from that. There was just the weight of Neji's corpse in her arms, the hot sun against her skin, and the blisters on her feet as Konoha's soldiers made their way home. She remember the thick bandages around her waist, the heavy scent of ammonia, and his rough, low voice in her ear as they sat in the floor of a medical tent.

She remembered the medical tent the most. She could remember the darkness of it. She could remember her sitting still inside her chest, as if missing a heartbeat. She could remember his catching breaths from the six broken ribs that sang an uneven symphony in her ears.

It felt surreal in that moment: beaten and slumped against the boy she'd loved for so long, speaking about the shinobi world's cycle of hatred, the aftermath of war, the comrades to be buried, and his crippling fear in the chakra chains that bound Sasuke's wrists.

He'd become a lost, confused boy, speaking to a lost, confused girl.

So when he suddenly went quiet and spoke again when she was beginning to drift off into sleep, her entire body jolted back into consciousness.

"I was supposed to give you an answer a long time ago. Before this started. I was supposed to talk to you," Naruto grunted out - and immediately she knows what he's talking about, knows where he is headed, knows that the words won't be kind on her heart. He coughed, flinched in pain, and gave out a soft sigh. "I got caught up when I shouldn't have."

Hinata shrugged. "We had responsibilities to take care of. You especially."

He chuckled, low and bitter. "_You_ didn't have a responsibility to save me from Pein."

She went still.

Naruto continued on without notice. "You didn't have to come for me when I told everyone else to stay out of my way. I thought I could take him. I thought I'd gotten strong enough," he said, rasping and struggling for breath as his words grew in emotion. "And then you come along and- and you're almost _killed_.I couldn't get the fucking job done like I was supposed to."

The dark haired girl shook her head, almost angrily, reaching over to grasp his wrist and squeeze hard. "Naruto-kun, _listen_ to me," Hinata said, a breathlessness to her voice. "Pein was not your responsibility alone. All of Konoha came together to fight him like I came for you."

She felt his arm begin to shake. "I-I couldn't even- even now- how can I become Hokage if I can't keep my friends safe?" Naruto said as his voice cracked. "You almost died because of me."

"That was a choice I made. That was a choice I would make a thousand times over." She squeezed his wrist again, then reached for his fingers as she threaded them through her own. The callouses of his left hand felt familiar, but colder, without the heavy pulsing of chakra that flooded from his body into her own. "Naruto-kun, I was watching you the minute you stepped into Konoha. I knew that you were on a different level than me. I came to Pein ready to die."

He shifted, went completely still for a moment.

"What?" Naruto intoned.

"I didn't think I would be able to put up a fight against him. I didn't think I'd last more than a few minutes, to be honest. I'd seen the damage he'd done to the village," Hinata murmured to him, a watery smile breaking out over her face. The helplessness of those moments could swallow her whole, even in memory. "But I knew that the chakra blades were holding you down. I had to give you some kind of fighting chance."

His grip on her hand turned from lackadaisical to frantic, almost squeezing the life out of her fingers. "But _why_?"

Her smile was weak and watery, but she gave it to him in the darkness between him either way. She hoped he could hear it within her voice. "Because _I love you_. I was going to protect you in whatever way I could, no matter what," Hinata said. She clasped her other hand and squeezed one last time.

They were silent for another moment, but this one was thick with momentum; her heart was thrumming horrifically inside of her chest, ready to send her into a panicked frenzy. Her skin was overly warm, her sight was still dimmed in the dark, and her stomach had settled somewhere between her toes. Her entire body was a lit fuse, waiting for a match.

Speaking to Naruto was frightening, _so_ frightening, but she'd faced down a man who could level an entire village with one hand and came out still alive. Her chest was burning with all the things she wanted to say.

Naruto did not owe her a requited love - and that was okay. Hinata was not stupid. She was not a desperate child. She did not want a fairy tail out of him.

Love was something that _grew_, cultivated with time and happiness and warmth, be they friend or lover. It was what he'd taught her as children when she watched him thread together friendships like leather bracelets, with knots that lasted through damage and the passage of time. There wasn't much that she expected in the midst of a battlefield, or at what she'd thought to be the end of her life.

But he owed her acknowledgement - for Naruto to know she'd made her decision on her own, to know that she did not expect anything from her.

So when the air between them had turned heavy enough to swim through, thicker than the blood coating her hair, she braced herself for the let down.

Yet it never came - Naruto was pulling her hands closer to him when a medic burst through the flap of the medical tent and shouted orders, whisking away the blonde for treatment before she could even wonder what was going on.

.

.

.

They came back to Konoha as friends, as comrades - a boy and a girl who fought side by side against a terror that threatened their entire philosophies. Uzumaki Naruto, her friend.

That had been enough.

.

.

.

He was barely eighteen when Kakashi-sensei took him off for training.

They sat in front of one of the memorial stones in the rain, sharing an umbrella and a thick silence. Their eyes drilled into the characters _Hyuuga Neji_ etched into the black surface as if in search. Naruto kept sneezing, wiping away his nose on his sleeve, while Hinata looked strained and drowsy, chewing away at her lip.

"Where will you go?" she asked him suddenly, focusing hard on her cousin's name again, as if it would give her courage.

She felt him shrug, the rustle of his clothes brushing against her own. "All over. He said there wasn't going to be a set destination. He wants me to travel like Sakura-chan did, but for more political stuff, I guess. We're going to Kumo to see the Raikage," Naruto answered in a low, illness-strained voice. It made her want to lay down and sleep, caressed by the wet grass and the rain. "I wonder how the ramen tastes there."

"Please don't eat any unhealthy foods until you get better. Focus on drinking enough soup," Hinata replied, patting his knee. "The broth in ramen doesn't count."

"But it's easier to _make_ than soup."

"It won't make it easier to get better."

He groaned aloud, leaning heavily into her as she squealed and tried not to let them fall into the grass. Naruto sighed, tossing an arm around Hinata's shoulder and pulling her back upright. "You need to come. Your future Rokudaime commands it. I'll need a personal nurse, and someone to hang out with when Kakashi-sensei gets boring. We can try all the ramen in the world, spar a little, visit cool places, and when we get bored you can kick my ass in shogi," he said, smiling hugely, as if he'd already pictured it in his mind and was pleased with the image.

And she could see it for herself, as if he'd painted it for her - sunsets spent looking out hotel room windows, traveling by day and stargazing by night, flitting through the different hidden villages of the world like a personal circus, eating strange foods, finding strange environments, all the while training beside him. It wasn't the first time that Naruto proposed it to her. It was a pretty dream, filtered through the sunlight of her love sickness.

But she was still so very fresh from war, made from scars instead of skin. There were responsibilities to take care of, people to look after, and things to learn.

It had been a tumultuous past year, at best He was caught up in the whirlwind that was Sasuke's trial, and she was caught up in the village's reconstruction efforts and mission work. They only seemed to see each other when they visited Neji's grave together on Thursday afternoons.

Hinata shook her head, willing her face to keep from turning red. His smile curled around her chest like a physical thing. "Convincing me to go is like convincing you to stay," she replied, trying to squirm out of his grasp half heartedly.

"Yeah, yeah."

"You won't even miss me, Naruto-kun."

He grunted, shifting away from her to look her in the eye, a skeptical, calculating look that she saw the older he got. Hinata didn't like these looks focused solely on her instead of a battlefield - not when it felt like he could see through her so thoroughly. Not when he wasn't supposed to be the perceptive one.

"As if," he muttered, eyes falling back onto the memorial stone.

.

.

.

He'd been gone for five years. The village was still healing, growing, expanding with different shops, new commerce, and business that gave birth to a flourishing economy. There was no time to keep track of the Copy Ninja and the Savior of the World when there was so much more to _do_.

Especially when there were more than enough rumors to keep Tsunade busy - more so on Naruto's part than his mentor.

All Hinata heard was whispers of him: the Yellow Flash's son gallivanting about the five great nations and beyond, picking fights with as many legendary shinobi as he dared and claiming them as friends. It made Hinata proud, knowing that Naruto was still being so recklessly, unabashedly _Naruto_.

It made his absence bearable.

Yet there was still so much to do - their growth would be found in different places, so she decided that she would let her roots grow right where she was. Hinata pushed herself into training, immersing herself into her father's lessons on politics and clan history, passing the jonin exam with all her limbs attached, and caring for the terribly rambunctious Yuki Sarutobi. Her father taught her the Eight Trigrams Revolving Heaven, Kurenai taught her new genjutsu, and she taught herself to speak without a stutter, without a hunch in her shoulders, without cowering from another's gaze. She cultivated her own strength out of kindness and silence, out of patience, out of the confidence in her own abilities, out of a path to the future she knew she could build.

It was a decidedly quiet five years, without Naruto, blossoming into a woman she hoped her mother would be proud of.

Things changed, and so did people, but the the fundamentals were still there: Shino was still quiet, Kiba was still loud, Sakura was still kind, Ino was still valiant, and Tenten was still radiant. The sky was still blue. The grass was still green. Konoha was still beautiful.

Time passed, wounds healed, and she thought that just maybe her love for him would be able to fade. And it was okay; there was nothing everlasting about a love that was not returned. She had long since made peace with it.

Growth came in many different forms. Why wouldn't her feelings?

.

.

.

Hinata stood in the shadows of the tea house, trying valiantly to avoid his sharp blue gaze. Her eyes lingered on the uneven dirt path between the buildings, the cracks in the old bricks that formed patterns behind him, the scar on his left index finger that was four shades paler than the rest of his skin, and the rippling of shadow from his cloak, floating around him in the breeze.

"It would be...unfair for me to start something between us when I'm not sure if I really will be...engaged by winter," she said softly, following the lines of the cracked brick. She saw him shift minutely in a hitched breath.

"I was an idiot for kissing you in the first place," Naruto muttered. He sighed, long and loud.

"Don't...don't say that."

He walked forward, slow, deliberate steps, ready to let her step back, but she stood firm. Hinata prayed that she wasn't shaking on the outside like she felt how badly she was trembling on the inside. "I'm always an idiot when it comes to you. I _hate_ it," Naruto whispered harshly, trying desperately to catch her eye. She did not relent. "I have the shittiest timing."

Hinata took a while to breathe, the air around her turning thick and uncomfortable. "It might be better this way," she mused aloud. The forced airiness in his voice made her twitch.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You couldn't answer me, Naruto."

She met his eyes when she saw the pause in his breathing, the stall in his entire body as her words sunk in like an electric shock. It took a moment for him to bristle, wire up defensively before he completely deflated.

Hinata knew love; she had been drowning in it since she was a child. Hinata knew love like she knew the sun would rise in the east and set in the west. Hinata knew love like she knew her bed sheets against her skin in the morning, like she knew the blade's edge of expectation in Byakugan eyes whenever she walked into a room, like she knew how exactly she could make an enemy's lungs explode with bursting seven particular tenketsu along the trachea. Hinata knew love, knew how it looked, and knew when it did not exist.

It might not have been healthy - how impossible it seemed to be to let this man go - but it was as real as her flesh and bones. It would not be dismissed or ignored. She'd come to terms with it a long time ago.

Maybe some emotions couldn't part from you without ripping you apart.

"That's not fair, Hinata."

"But it's _true_."

There was thick silence. The shuffle of his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared down at his toes filled her. "I was _scared_, Hinata. I was scared. Terrified. I'm not sure what I feel. It's...something- and don't give me that look! It's a valid something. It's not what I felt for Sakura, or any other girl, and it's not...I just - I look at you and I wonder why I didn't start something the second we came home from the war. Everything I said was true," Naruto murmured. He avoided her gaze this time, though his was pinched in frustration. "I looked at you and I wanted to kiss you. Not out of pity. Not because I thought I could get away with it. I kissed you because I wanted to - _want _to. I want you."

"Naruto-kun, please," Hinata whispered in anguish, reaching out to place a shoulder at his bicep. "I don't want you to think that you have to force feelings on yourself or to misconstrue what you want just to appease me. You _don't_."

He snorted quietly, rolling his eyes petulantly as he stepped away from her tough. "There was nothing forced about that kiss and _you know it_."

Hinata stiffened, turning a brilliant red as she remembered his tongue tasting like every pastry she'd ever tasted in her life, ten times sweeter, better, hotter, replacing time and space and reason.

Her hands dropped to her sides. "Maybe I took advantage of the situation. I don't know," the dark haired woman murmured, smiling with a grimace, guilt beginning to strain the inside of her ribs in a painful manner. He already had too much on his plate for her to be manipulating him, albeit unconsciously. "Either way...this is...this is one thing that I don't want you to pursue."

Naruto stepped forward, hands falling to her hips as he stared her resolutely in the eyes. "Stop me this time," he muttered, leaning in so that their foreheads pressed together. She let him, let her eyes fall closed, let the sound of his breathing against the skin of her jaw slow down her heartbeat into soft bubbles of pond water. "Tell me to stop, and I'll walk away like none of this ever happened. We can pretend none of this ever happened. I don't give a damn about your family right now, and neither do you. They don't dictate your love life. I already made my choice. You need to make your's."

But how was it his choice when he could not bare her heart in the way that she could? She'd made her's when she was sixteen, faced up against what would be her death just to protect him. She had long since made her choice. And he knew it would always be him, after all these years and dates her friends pushed her into and the waiting that she'd unconsciously sat through for him.

She would always choose him.

Hinata should have known that the second his hands came into contact with her body, she wouldn't be leaving that alley any time soon.

.

.

.

Naruto's homecoming was more anticlimactic than she imagined it to be.

For Hinata herself, in the middle of picking at her unappetizing plate of shrimp, she was more or less zoned out. Her lunch outing with Kiba and Ino had turned into her third wheeling and more public displays of affection that fell past cute and went into uncomfortable. And she absolutely despised seafood - but she didn't have the heart to turn down the couple when they wanted to take her out for lunch. They sat at a table seated for six, strangely enough, with the restaurant half empty.

She focused on the heated gossip between two waitresses behind her. She stared down at her plate, ignoring the heated conversation between her friends and holding back a smile for a completely different reason.

"I'm serious! I saw him this morning running around screaming at the Uchiha, with his arm around him," the first voice said with a happy cackle. "It was hilarious!"

"Is he good looking?"

"_Gorgeous_."

"And he looked so cute next to the pink haired girl!"

"The Godaime's apprentice? I thought she was dating the Kazekage."

"She could do better. My older sister married a Suna shinobi and she told me about him. He doesn't have any eyebrows, you know." At this, Hinata bit down on her bottom lip almost painfully as she turned her head to the side to control the mirth bubbling inside of her.

"How do you do better than _a kage_?"

"You could do better than any man who's missing his eyebrows."

Hinata coughed out a laugh, bowing her head low enough for her dark hair to shadow her face as she strained with laughter. It took a her a few minutes to compose herself and the laughter that shook her silently. Kiba and Ino were staring suspiciously at her.

"What's so funny?" Kiba asked suspiciously, raising a brow at her.

"Why aren't you eating?" Ino asked inquisitively, her frown bordering on worry.

Hinata's face flushed pink, and she laughed lightly, stabbing her chopstick into a shrimp in her plate of salad. "It's a bit too spicy for me. I'll be fine," she lied, hoping to dismiss their concern. "And I was just thinking about what I'm supposed to be packing for next week."

Kiba hissed and leaned back in his seat, rubbing his forehead and glaring past Hinata's shoulder at the wall. "I forget about that. This has to be the fourth long term intelligence mission for this year," he said, sighing in exasperation. Ino pouted and patted his shoulder in comfort.

"How long are you supposed to be gone this time?" she asked.

"About seven weeks or so," Hinata supplied.

"Fucking tensions between Iwa and Ame," Kiba added, crossing his arms over his chest dejectedly. "There are too many rogues from Ame that head into Earth country territory and cause trouble. They're starting it up with Ishigakure too. Shikamaru said he expected it to just escalate into more than just petty skirmishes, and it's been messing with our trade routes. People are turning up dead. The Daimyo isn't liking it."

Ino scoffed, leaning forward into the table and recrossing her legs under the table as her eyes flashed. "Who do you think you're telling? Tsunade-sama ordered out a cell for information gathering to watch the situation from inside Ame until the end of the year - she took two of my boys from Torture and Interrogation. They've already gotten into a fight with a group of Ishigakure shinobi who were trying to rob them," the blonde said, a scowl creeping onto her face. "The bastards were lucky I wasn't there."

Hinata frowned. "You weren't apart of the cell?"

"No! God, Ibiki has me on _another_ paperwork stint," Ino hissed.

Kiba rolled his eyes. "The less you're out on the field, the better. That's not something you should even be focusing on when you have a unit to help run."

Ino scoffed aloud, smacking Kiba on the chest. Hinata bit back a grin. "What_ever_. They would've had all the information they needed if _I_ was there," she grumbled.

"As if," Kiba shot back.

"He knows that you're excellent at your job, Ino," Hinata said, jutting in as quickly as possible to avoid an argument. "Ibiki-san probably wants you to learn more about the unit itself than just doing missions."

"It's still boring."

"Who are you telling?" Hinata said, smiling secretively. The blonde grinned back in understanding - paperwork took up at good thirty percent of the clan heiress's time daily. "Find growth in it, Ino. Paperwork teaches a certain kind of patience."

Ino shrugged a bit and stared dejectedly at her food before straightening in her seat suddenly. Kiba followed, tossing her a vicious smirk. "Finally! This asshole took his time," she snapped.

He barked out a laugh. "You know he likes to make an entrance."

Hinata frowned, about to ask what they were talking about, but then she blinked and her metaphorical sixth sense of feeling that extended past her body, into the physical world. And she felt a bright, uncontrolled flare of chakra that she had not felt in years.

She took a century to find her lungs again, with eyes brighter than the moon. "Naruto is coming _here_?"

Ino smirked. "Turn around."

The dark haired woman gasped and turned around in her chair, looking over her shoulder in a frightful manner as the door to the restaurant opened loudly and three very conspicuous looking shinobi walked in. The head of pink hair was a given - shorter than the other two by at least a head and a half. Sakura was poking Sasuke in the side as she spoke to him with a teasing smile pulling at her lips, while the Uchiha languidly stared down at her with a raised brow. Naruto - a ray of sunrise blonde hair and gold skin - clapped him on the back as he grinned.

His shoulders were more broad than she remembered. They filled out his dark shirt under his flak jacket. He was still lanky - more tendons and sinews than muscle, and much less bulky than Sasuke. His skin was flushed with a deeper tan and his hair was cropped short. The only thing that remained resolutely the same was his bright sky-blue eyes that she could still make out a dozen feet away in the dim lighting.

Then he looked directly at her and smiled.

"What the hell kind of growth spurt did he go through?" Kiba said in exasperation from behind her. She barely registered it. "The bastard looks tall as hell."

Ino clucked her tongue. "Someone sounds bitter," she supplied. There was an audible growl heard. "And who cares how tall he is? I can't believe he's actually wearing a uniform. With _no orange_."

Hinata turned in her seat, breaking her gaze with Naruto and feeling distinctly winded. She nodded a bit to herself and tucked her hair away from her face. "Much taller. Definitely taller," she said to herself. She sounded winded too. She picked up her glass of water. The dark haired woman drank down half of it in one go before setting it down. Her eyes found her friends once more. "Why didn't you just _tell me_?"

Kiba shrugged. "Her idea," he said, tilting his head in his girlfriend's direction. "Besides, this is kind of funny."

"You're adorable when you're flustered," Ino added.

She gave her friends a rare glare of frustration as she set down her glass of water and placed a hand on her cheek. She could already hear their footsteps - seconds away, only _seconds_ away when four and a half years stretched between them like a barren wasteland, he was only seconds away from her now - as her face bloomed with heat.

"You two are _evil_," she mouthed. Her glare settled further into her face when the two began to shake with silent laughter.

Hinata jumped and gasped, startled, when she felt a warm hand press just between her shoulder blades. She turned her head to the left and stared wide-eyed as she saw Naruto flashing a spectacularly bright, toothy smile at her. She didn't have to think about returning her own._ It's good to see you_, she could almost hear in the space between them, except softer and honeyed with warmth.

The urge to embrace him enveloped her entire system, but she held still.

He leaned into her as he sat in the chair directly beside her. "What the hell are these idiots laughing about?" Naruto muttered, jerking his chin towards Kiba and Ino. The thick rasp of his baritone voice washed over her like a hazy dream.

"I ordered something too spicy and choked a little bit," Hinata lied back in a whisper.

He nodded sagely. "Probably forgot to chew when you saw me," Naruto said, pulling a cocky grin. Her mouth fell open in shock. "I understand _completely_. It's been a while."

"N-naruto-kun!" she sputtering. _Did he really just say that!?_

He gave her another warm smile before calling out across the table angrily. "Oi, you idiots!" Naruto snapped. Kiba and Ino's faces immediately pulled into twin glares. Sasuke was already sighing quietly. "Why the hell are we at a seafood restaurant? Hinata _hates_ seafood!"

A rush of warmth and unadulterated happiness flooded her system as she watched the three of them begin to bicker.

.

.

.

Naruto bloomed.

He was still the same boisterous and cheerful boy he'd always been, but that boy was wrapped away in the layers of a man - there was a strain to the expanse of his shoulders when he leaned in for mission debriefs and there was a calculating focus to his eyes of seriousness hard learned through the battlefield. Watching him on missions was a vision of leadership and decisiveness that she'd never experienced before. Yet it wasn't surprising to her. Not quite. She'd always known him capable of turning into a leader. The title of Hokage was no longer a pipe dream that the villagers could scoff at. It was his future. It was the title of_ Tsunade-sama's successor_ on his shoulders. It was his brotherly smile as he explained how to kunai to Academy students. It was his years upon years spent travelling, perfecting his craft.

He'd grown; there were no other words to describe it. Hinata wasn't sure what he'd learned when he was away, but it changed him in an irreversible way.

Sometimes, she found it easier to talk to him this way. Conversations ranged from politics (which was never far away from her tongue's reach these days) to upcoming chuunin exams to weapon sharpening techniques to how he'd missed spicy pork ramen at Ichakiru's more than indoor plumbing.

But, without fail, this version of Naruto could still tie a knot in her throat and destroy all sense of her reason.

Because some things truly never, _ever_ change.

.

.

.

Yet she couldn't claim stagnancy for herself.

She had more scars with terrible stories decorating her skin. She spoke easily, fairly audible and calm, without a stitch in her tone. She could walk through a crowded room with her chin up and her walk even. She was faster, stronger, smarter, more powerful, with eyes that could see for miles in any direction. She smiled more, with just a hint of teeth. She could hold a conversation with eye contact. She'd grown up in a more subtle way than her love. There was less blooming, less bursting with color, and more unfurling, peeling away the layers of insecurity and doubt that suffocated her.

There was still the quiet, shy girl inside of her, that stuttered whenever Tenten complimented her or Naruto gave her a particular smile, because there were some things you don't grow out of.

But now she was a reserved woman, who stood tall in her seat and and spoke only when she knew just what to say. There was very little she was afraid of now.

Bravery taught her nothing: time and a war's horrors taught where to place her fear in this life.

.

.

.

Hinata came home that afternoon with kiss-bruised lips and tearstained cheeks. She made her way into the Hyuuga compound through her personal garden, walking through the stone path and into the door that led to her room.

It was easy avoiding her family when she needed to. There was a distinct amount of privacy in the clan head's position, even in a home known for walls being useless against Byakugan eyes. Thankfully, no one in her family could see tear stains through walls. All she had to do was keep quiet - something she was incredibly skilled at.

She left the lights off, the only light coming from her windows and the glass door that led into her garden. The dark haired woman pulled off her jacket, shoes, and pants, before making her way towards her bed. It was large and plain with pale bedding, but uncommonly comfortable. She relished in the cool, silken sheets as she slid inside of it and laid down her head. She didn't bother tying up her hair or putting on pajamas.

The feeling of Naruto's hands against her skin was burned into her senses, more visceral than any other experience. She sank into the memory of it, breathed through it, absorbed it into her skin.

His lips were firm and unyielding against her own, moving so in sync she could have sworn they'd kissed a thousand times before. It was physically painful to pull away from him and walk away, holding back tears with only willpower and her teeth biting the inside of her cheek.

She shouldn't have let him in the first place.

It would have been easier going the rest of her life not knowing how sweet his mouth tasted against her own.

.

.

.

The next morning, Hanabi dragged her bright and early to the training grounds. She found Kiba and Shino already there, ready for bloodshed.

She hadn't been on a mission in a good two months - there was too much work to be done in Konoha for her to be on the mission roster at the moment. But she trained almost daily, whether it was practicing kata by herself, or accepting her sister's challenges for a friendly spar. The sweat, the heat, the picture perfect precision of her eyes to catch every single node of tenketsu in the human body, and the feeling of cool metal inside her palms as she aimed seemed to be apart of her genetic makeup now. There was nothing more natural than a good fight.

Especially when she spent most of her days cooped up in her study doing paperwork.

While Shino and Hanabi sat under the shade of a thick oak tree, talking quietly as they cooled down from their own spar, Hinata was sprinting at Kiba with two kunai and a surprisingly bright grin. He met her with a kunai of his own, shooting forward with hard, heavy strikes against her fast, swift ones. She knew just where to dodge, just when to slip out of reach, and he knew just when to hit, just when to rush forward without precision. Kiba toppled her to the grass more than once while he pinned her down and Akamaru rushed over to lick her face.

"No _no_ no no no!" Hinata shrieked happily, trying to wiggle from her friend's grasp as the large dog panted and slobbered all over her. "This isn't sanitary!"

"I keep telling you dogs' tongues are cleaner than humans!" Kiba said triumphantly, flashing canines happily. "Besides, Akamaru hasn't made out with you in a while. He's gotten super lonely."

Hinata giggled breathlessly and went back to shrieking when Akamaru gave her face another big lick. Regardless, she knew she wasn't struggling as hard as she could have.

The sun was piercingly bright, the sky was listlessly blue, her best friends were with her, sweat clung to her brow in a constant downfall of activity, several shallow cuts patterned themselves along her skin, and her blood was singing an old, ancient warrior's song. She felt _good_.

When Kiba finally relented and let her sit up, he fell back onto the grass, limbs splayed out. Hinata watched him, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Akamaru panted happily and circled the two of them before plopping himself down beside Hinata to curl up to her side. He whined loudly until she reached a hand over to scratch behind his ears.

"Sakura is requesting us for a mission," Kiba said quietly, letting his eyes fall closed.

Hinata frowned in question. "Why is she requesting the both of us if I'm not on the missions roster?" she said. "S-class?"

He smirked slightly. "Duh."

"Reconnaissance?"

"Kind of. You know the raids that have been going on in Wind Country? They're starting up here now," Kiba replied, huffing out a loud breath before continuing. "Two towns at the south western border of Fire Country were attacked in the same way - all the villagers getting sick a few days before a bunch of nukenin come through and ransack the whole place. There's reports of the same jutsus being used to burn the place down."

The dark haired woman breathed, her jaw locking. "That's horrifying."

"Yeah. Gaara already contacted Tsunade-sama last week before she stepped down. Gave her the information that he had on the attacks. Apparently he chased them away himself or something when they hit a town close to Suna," the Inuzuka said. Hinata wondered herself - she'd heard about the attacks going on for the past seven months in Wind Country. They were all extremely calculated. Was meddling with a Kage's village what scared them off? "She tasked Sakura with picking a team to investigate."

Hinata nodded slowly. She stopped scratching Akamaru's head when she heard the soft sounds of his slumber. "Who else would be on the team?"

"Her, us, Ino, and Shikamaru," Kiba answered, shrugging a bit. "Kind of a big team for this investigation if you ask me. We should be keeping it low key."

Hinata shook her head. A bigger team for this situation was better than anything. "Reports on the raids kept talking about how large a group there was. An estimate of twenty to thirty, by survivors' accounts. I think a larger team is absolutely necessary if confrontation arises again with enemy that outnumbers us," she replied, sounding text book and factual. Kiba opened an eye to raise his brows at her.

"Larger teams make things more complicated. It's harder to travel efficiently and be inconspicuous with several shinobi. We wouldn't wanna catch these guys' attention too quick."

"It's a complicated mission, with varying necessary skill sets. Having extra people on hand isn't a draw back," Hinata answered. She took a moment to adjust her legs so that she sat cross legged. "Is Sakura handling the whole thing?"

Kiba groaned. "Basically. Naruto gave her free reign to spearhead it. He's busy settling in and starting peace talks with the new leaders of Ame and Iwa. The old Tsuchikage finally stepped down," he replied. He stayed quiet for a minute before his face caught a frown and he sat up and ruffled his hair. "You don't have to take this mission if you don't want to, you know. I know how you're always busy with clan stuff.

Hinata shook her head. "This might be good for me. I haven't been on a mission for a while. And besides," she said, looking over her shoulder to where her sister and Shino sat under the shade of the trees. "I don't want Hanabi taking this on."

Kiba huffed. "You get too over protective with the cub. I don't even wanna see you when you have kids," he said gruffly. "You can't deny it. She's been doing a damn good job filling in for you on mission with us, Hinata. Give her credit."

Since Hinata had become clan head, there was almost no time for mission work. Her father had ended his career as a shinobi when he'd taken up the title himself - only putting back on his uniform and hitai-ate when the village needed him against a threat. She wasn't too fond of the idea of ending everything so early. Her father was thirty one, and she was only twenty three. Just sticking to training was supremely boring.

So Tsunade had decided to send Hanabi in as a substitute for her mission with Kiba and Shino. They worked out amazingly - probably better than herself, because Hanabi was nothing if not a brilliant kunoichi. It was not a matter of credit to be due; she would always be the first to praise her sister's achievements in any situation. Chuunin by eleven, and jonin by fifteen, Hanabi had proven her worth as a shinobi, in rank and in battle. For years, Hinata had accepted that Hanabi was a better ninja that herself. It would never be a matter of credit being due.

The thought of her baby sister going on dangerous missions in her place made her feel something in between paralyzing fear and nausea. It gave her nightmares and kept her awake at night, pondering the situation she'd been put in.

Hinata gave her own little pout before she scolded her teammate. "She's not my only cub. You and Shino are too. I can't turn it off. I'm always going to be concerned," she said, worry thick in her voice. "I'm going on this mission, Kiba."

.

.

.

It had been a simple morning; she had woken up while it was still dark, had breakfast, trained a bit with her sister before she went off on her mission with Kiba and Shino, and started on more paperwork. She hadn't thought of the date whatsoever. It had been a fairly normal morning.

But while in her study, her great uncle Hibashi had paid her a visit.

The creaking of the door startled her - only Hanabi ever came into her study, and she'd just seen her off an hour ago - but when she looked up to see the old man walking through, she became immediately apprehensive.

Hinata pulled on a measured smile. "Hibashi-jisan. Good morning."

He nodded, large, heavy-lidded eyes seeming to find something interesting in the room until they finally landed on her. "Good morning, child," he replied, if not a bit condescendingly. Her smile faltered. "Your presence will be needed in the audience room at noon today."

Hyuuga Hibashi was a tall, thin old man, with thick white hair that he secured at the base of his neck in a bun and a sparse beard that covered most of his face. His eyes - like her entire family - were an opalescent white that held a tinge of soft blue. Through the hunched shoulders, pale skin, and gaunt features, his eyes were the only thing that reminded her of a shinobi. They were cold and never held an ounce of emotion.

They never ceased to unnerve her.

"What for? A meeting wasn't scheduled for today," Hinata replied.

"We are sealing Tokuma's son today, Hinata-sama."

The words turned Hinata's entire body into a stiff, unresponsive board. Her throat went dry and her face drained of blood. She felt like ice cold water had been dumped over her, a freezing apprehension and terror flooding through her veins and stealing her breath - thoughts going rampant and repeating deliriously in her head, _I am not ready, I am not ready, it is still too soon._

It took her a minute to find her voice again, not bothering to look her uncle in the eye. "Today at noon?" she prompted, standing from her seat behind her teak wood desk. The dark haired woman shifted the papers and folders around her desk until she found a thick, dark red folder. Her hands clutched it desperately. "I'll be there, Ojisan."

The old man nodded before he turned around and headed for the door. "And remember, if you are not present at the required time, then we are obligated to continue the process without you," Hibashi said, just barely over his shoulder.

Hinata's lungs faltered again as she stared up, glaring hotly, tears burning in her eyes.

.

.

.

Within the confines of the Hokage tower and her own trembling body, she burst through the doors of Naruto's office with a heart that beat too fast and clenched too hard within her chest.

Hinata could have smiled - Naruto was leaning back very far into his chair with a cup of instant ramen in one hand and chopsticks in the other. Sakura was dressed in her hospital clothes, hands shoved into her white lab coat with a scowl marring her face. Shikamaru was holding up a file, reading through it and looking bored to tears.

All three pairs of eyes landed on her when she entered.

"They're about to seal Hiro's today," Hinata said breathlessly, much louder than she should have. She held up her dark red folder. "Tokuma's son. They're sealing him today."

It took all of two seconds for the confusion on Naruto's face to warp immediately into horror as his eyes zeroed in on the folder she held out for him. He was on his feet in a second. "_Today_!?" he shouted. Frantically, he looked around the room until he saw Sakura and shoved the cup of ramen into her chest. She sputtered indignantly as he looked amid the myriad of files and mission scrolls. Naruto hissed, glaring angrily on his desk until he checked a drawer, eyes going wide with relief as he pulled out his own dark red folder. "What time? What time are they going to start?"

"Noon," Hinata said, walking forward until she was in front of the desk. "My uncle made it clear that he _will_ start without me."

"Two _fucking_ hours?" Naruto snapped, suddenly looking viciously angry.

"They wanted this to be last minute. This- this _wasn't_ scheduled," Hinata lamented, shaking her head as bile began to creep into her throat at her abject horror. "They must have suspected something."

"Evil goddamn bastards," Naruto muttered, walking around his desk and opening up the folder to flip through the myriad of stapled papers before finding the page that he wanted and snatching his official Hokage stamp from his desk. He stamped the page and tossed the stamp away before blowing on the ink for it to dry. "The council's meeting was supposed to be for next month. I'm not sure if they're all in the village right now."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up here," Sakura said, raising her hands up and looking between Hinata and Naruto suspiciously, holding the discarded cup of ramen in her right hand. Shikamaru read on in his file, occasionally flipping the page without worry. "Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Shikamaru huffed in the background, rolling his eyes and closing the file he was reading. All eyes in the room turned to him at the quiet nose, as they were prone to do. "They've been working on a clan, village, and council-approved edict that will end the Hyuuga sealing practice for good," he replied, walking over the Hokage's desk and tossing the file into the fray of other papers. "And I happen to know that all council members are currently in the village today."

"Thank the gods," Naruto said, slapping a hand to his face.

"I'll call them together for an emergency meeting and have them meet in the Tower's audience room in thirty minutes then," Shikamaru said, nodding before walking out of the room. He held out his hand for the folders from them both, tucking them under his arm and leaving.

"Make it twenty!" Naruto shouted as he left.

"Got it," Shikamaru replied.

"Why didn't_ I_ know any of this?" Sakura huffed, dumping the ramen in her hand and

"I don't wish to stress you, Sakura-chan. This is my burden to handle," Hinata said mutedly, smiling slightly.

Naruto smiled softly, reaching over and placing his warm hand on her arm. "_Our_ burden," he corrected.

She met his eyes and smiled tightly, feeling the sting of terror in her throat.

_Two hours_, she thought, _and it'll be a four year old's burden that will weigh on his shoulders for the rest of his life_.

"Our burden," she answered him.

Because if they were going into this together, then she might as well let him share the blame.

.

.

.

The night of the festival left Naruto and Hinata hiding out in his office with a large box of cinnamon buns, takeout spicy pork ramen, and a very good view of the upcoming fireworks.

"Baa-chan said this desk wouldn't be clean for long," Naruto said, looking at his neat and organized working space with trepidation. "And I don't trust Shikamaru."

"Of course you do."

"Well, I don't trust him to get actual work done."

She covered her giggle with a bite of cinnamon buns.

They both sat in his over sized, ridiculously plush office chair - a gift courtesy of Sasuke. It was big and spacious enough to fit the both of them, thanks to Naruto's almost comically skinny legs. Hinata was basically sitting in Naruto's lap, with on leg on the chair and the other half on top of his thigh. The second she'd seen the large box of her favorite pastries, she'd forgotten to be embarrassed about it.

The sun had all but disappeared from view in the horizon, hiding behind the Hokage mountain. The fireworks would be coming soon and her eyes were already growing heavy with tiredness.

It had been a rush getting ready this afternoon - she'd gotten home late from a mission with mud at the bottom of her sandals and a smile on her face. Hanabi had already ordered her an especially tailored kimono: soft, pale green, silk with delicately stitched white and orange flowers stitched into the front and back just under her waist; sleeves that trailed to her knees; a hunter green obi with a small yellow slip that tied snugly around her waist, just below her bust. Her younger sister pulled back her hair into a large bun with loose baby hairs falling over her face, smudged a Tokumahl liner over her eyes, sweeped on a generous amount of mascara, dusted on a mauve blush onto her cheeks, swept a champagne highlighting powder over her cupid's bow and the high points of her cheekbones, and added a berry lip stain to her lips.

Hinata was more than pleased with the end results. She would only get to see Naruto become Hokage once in her lifetime, and she was _determined_ to look her absolute best.

"Shikamaru is brilliant. He'll work for you very well," Hinata replied. She ripped off a piece of her cinnamon bun and offered it to him. "Would you like some?"

Naruto nodded, chewing and swallowing the ramen he'd stuffed into his mouth before reaching out and taking the proffered pastry with his teeth. He chewed it and swallowed thoughtfully. "These cinnamon buns were a really good idea," he said, nodding. "Today was the best. My birthday is probably gonna be lame in comparison."

"Hopefully not," she said, smiling brightly. "You only turn twenty four once."

"I know!" he shouted, smiling and slapping the thigh she wasn't sitting on. "We're super old."

She nodded. "Ancient."

"And there's a lot of work to do," he said. He turned silent for a moment, giving a soft sigh and looking at his desk as if in search. "There's a lot of work I need to do."

Hinata watched his face fall, concentration and brooding falling over him so quickly that she became scared. She remained quiet herself, knowing that he would eventually say something - Naruto was never one to keep his thoughts to himself.

But what he said nearly made her fall out of the chair.

"I promised Neji that I would change the Hyuuga clan during our Chuunin exams. I can finally do it now," Naruto breathed out. He held a hand to his forehead and stared down at his desk with apprehension. "I've got a lot of promises to keep."

The dark haired woman watched him for a moment, following the line of his set jaw and the tightness in the corner of his eyes, before she reached for the hand that was pressed worryingly into his forehead. He looked at her carefully as she clasped in her own hand and squeezed hard. His calloused brushed against her own and brought warmth and goose bumps through her body.

"That's a promise we're both going to keep," Hinata whispered, leaning her head into him. She felt the need to be quiet, as if speaking of secrets to sacred for a normal voice. The vision of Neji's bloody face would wake her up from the most violent of nightmares, but it would also stay present in her mind to ponder his words, to soak in his absence like an old sore. "He died to protect us, but he died for his own freedom. It was his _choice_. I don't want another Hyuuga to grow up and believe that their only freedom in this world is how and when they choose to die. I can't accept that."

Naruto nodded, squeezing back. She bit down on her lip. "I know. We are going to change this clan. We are going to end this tradition," he murmured back. His eyes shone.

"And I will be there every step. You're not doing this alone."

They stayed quiet for a moment, looking at one another, and Hinata had never felt chills like this before. She'd felt the butterflies, clenching with anxiety and fear and such visceral hope she felt it in her intestines. This wasn't like that. Her skin was cold and hot, tingling with knowing, a quiet understanding of the _truth_ in her words.

_You'll never be alone again. Not while I'm still breathing_, she promised to herself.

Whatever position she held in his heart, _she would be there_ - that was her own selfishness. For his own protection, and for her own greed. She would stay with him however he needed. She would not hide from a distance and give silent prayers for his happiness anymore.

His hand wrapped securely around her own was the only prayer she needed.

"You're always here. You've always been here," Naruto said gruffly, his voice thick and too raspy for its own good, He let his eyes fall closed as he squeezed her hand once again. "I haven't been able to see it for so long."

She shrugged a bit, ducking her head down as a blush overtook her face. "I spent most of my time hiding behind trees instead of showing it," Hinata muttered. "I was too much of a coward. That's my own fault."

"You are the _bravest_ person I know. All my friends are shinobi and have been through a war, and you are the bravest one," Naruto said reverently. Hinata looked up at him, face going redder, but the firestorm and the blizzard that danced inside her skin "You're brilliant, Hinata. You're blinding. I'm sorry it took me so long to see it."

She breathed, an almost-gasp she wasn't sure she'd been holding in. "Naruto-kun," she said. "Naruto-kun, you are more blinding than I could _ever_ be."

"I'm _not_. I look at you and I get stunned. It's like I can see the sun for the first time," Naruto said. He opened his eyes again. "You're all that I can see."

Her lips spilled the words from her body like a physical ache. "I love you, Naruto. I love you _so_ much," she said desperately.

She was sure she didn't lean forward first - the stress she kept on her body to keep herself still and motionless put a strain on her bones. But suddenly she felt her lips on his, smelling his thick, masculine scent and found his body pressed thoroughly in her own. There was fire flooding through her system, registering his own warmth and drinking into her cells.

Hinata went on instinct; her arms wound around his shoulders and her mouth moved against the urgency of his own. He responded eagerly, heatedly, with one arm curving around her hips and the other grasping her knee to shift her entirely on his lap. She breathed, opening her mouth slightly, feeling the kiss deepen and her head bubble with sensation. Behind her closed lids, she saw the flashes of dim light through the office windows, hearing the muted bursts of fireworks that burst into the sky.

They seemed too supercilious, as dim and dull in the darkness of her sight, when Hinata melted her body into a supernova of rough hands and warm lips.

.

.

.

It took twenty three minutes, Naruto's lost hitae-ate, and her own hair falling from it's precarious updo to realize that he hadn't said_ I love you_ back.

It took her thirty seconds to remove herself from him and nearly sprinted out of the Hokage tower.

.

.

.

It was sixteen minutes before noon when Naruto and Hinata made it to the Hyuuga compound, carrying two dark red folders and a thick, official looking, dark red scroll with Konoha's council emblem stamped on the front of it. Hinata carried the folders in both hands, held upside down in front of her stomach with a too-tight clasp in a vain attempt to keep her hands from shaking. Naruto held the scroll underneath his left arm, both hands shoved in his pockets.

They had been silent the entire way to the council's meeting, all throughout their deliberation, and as they finally, _finally_ made their way to her home.

There was a thick river of tension between them, but Hinata could only bear to ignore it and hope for the best. There was still to much to say right now. They needed _focus_.

When they made their way to the front gate of the Hyuuga compound, Naruto held it open for her and she murmured some sort of vague thank you as she stepped inside it. He stepped in front of her to open the door

"My stomach feels like it's gonna explode," Naruto murmured, slipping off his sandals as they entered her home.

"My stomach feels like it's missing," Hinata replied quietly, staring down at her bare toes as they walked towards the audience room.

"I like your toes," he mumbled, uncharacteristically nervous. She blinked, registering the dark red color she'd painted her toes the other day. They were glossy and eye catching.

"Thank you," she replied.

Before she knew it, they were already in front of the audience room, the doors paperthin and ready to be shoved aside in fury. Because there was anger - a cold, vicious anger that flooded her body like a mist. Hianta drew from it, picturing the seal from Neji's forehead disappearing as the life flooded from his eyes.

Her hand found the shogi door without her conscious knowledge, eyes finally pulling away from her feet. Her fingers trembled, not matter how hard she clenched them.

Hinata felt Naruto's warm had between her shoulders, pushing her forward. "I'm not letting you do this alone either," he whispered. She could not look at him, could barely find her lungs in her chest. "You're strong enough."

"I hope so," she replied, swallowing back the dryness of her throat.

She opened the doors.

Hinata wasn't surprised to see everyone already present except for her; the elders were already seated to the right of the audience room with utterly composed faces, in front of where Tokuma, his wife, and their young son Hiro sat on tatami mats with bowed heads. Hiro, with his messy dark hair and terrified white eyes, sat in front of them as he stared resolutely ahead. Tokuma's wife was silently crying, a viciously bitter expression marring the quiet beauty of her face, and Tokuma himself was fighting back the tears with the most horrified expression on their face. They'd both foregone their shinobi clothes, opting for the traditional Hyuuga robes.

Their seal marks stood out on their foreheads stood out as an almost florescent green against the ashen paleness of their skin, but Hiro's forehead was still pale and clean - unmarred by generations of Branch family servitude.

Her stomach rolled.

All heads turned towards them, specifically landing on Naruto, as they were quick to bow and greet their new Hokage. There were murmurs of greetings that Hinata could not make herself return. She stayed silent until the room's noise fell back again.

"Hinata-sama, are you ready to begin the ceremony?" Hibashi prompted, staring at Naruto in annoyance. A glare found it's way onto her face.

"There will be no ceremony," she replied.

She felt the shock flow slowly into the room, watched it twist Hibashi's expression into anger, watched it drop the jaws of the rest of the elders, watch it silently wipe away Tokuma's and his wife's expressions of grief, and brought Hiro's gaze to her face.

_"What?"_ her great uncle spat.

Hinata walked forward, brandishing the two folders that she held in her hands, and slapping them on the ground in front of the elders. The noise startled them, and she took a cold pleasure in watching them jerk in surprise. "The first is a clan edict, personally written up by myself, outlawing the sealing practices against the branch family. The second is a village edict, signed by the Hokage, outlawing sealing practices in any clans that are used for controlling purposes."

"This is a disgrace," he spat vehemently, rising slowly from the tatami mat. Hinata saw his eyes, wide and filled with hatred. "You are a disgrace to this family."

Hinata reached over, holding out her hand for the scroll Naruto held. He handed it to her, and she saw the venemous glare he sent her uncle's way. She stepped forward, past the folders, to stand right before the old man. "And that right there," Naruto said as she held out the scroll for Hibashi, with the cockiest voice he could muster, "is a ruling from the _council_, outlawing sealing practices in any clans that are used for control. It's also illegal to activate existing seals under any circumstances."

His face went blank.

She smiled just a bit. "No loopholes," Hinata said. "I can promise you that."

Hibashi stayed silent a moment, and his silence seemed to suck the entire room into a soundless vacuum, taking away her strained sense of hearing. She could not focus on Naruto's breathing or her own thick heartbeat. The old man struggled to hold onto composure. Her eyes focused on the trembling of his mouth, the corners attempting to pull downwards against the lined, wobbily skin.

"You are a disgrace to this family," Hibashi ground out smoothly, eyes fluttering from her toes to her head. "You are a shame, through and through."

Naruto physically bristled - she did not need to look at him to feel the anger. "Don't you _dare_ speak to her like that," the blonde hissed. "Don't you dare."

Hinata shook her head. "It's alright, Naruto-kun," she said. Her eyes never left her uncle's. The urge to whisper you have lost suddenly jumped into her mind, but she pushed the thought away, decided against it.

She stepped away from the elders, and towards Tokuma's family. She bowed low, and did not raise herself when she spoke. "I have not yet found a jutsu to undo the Branch family's seals. For that, you must forgive me," Hinata said, in an almost pleading voice. The shakiness crept into her voice desperately, but she resisted. "But I will develop a new seal that all of us will wear, to protect the Byakugan at death.

"All of us?" Tokuma whispered, looking hopeful and terrified.

Hinata rose, and nodded. "Yes. All of us. A seal that will unify us, and not establish rank. We are all Hyuuga,," she murmured. "You're free to leave now. I officially call this ceremony to an end."

Tokuma tried taking his family away quickly; he and his wife bowed low, waterfall dark hair falling over their shoulders in a quiet waterfall. He gathered Hiro into his arms, letting the child rest at his hip. But his wife - Bunko, a jonin of twenty eight, with a scar running along the left side of her jaw - held on tightly to his arm to hold him still.

"You- you are the _greatest_ clan head that this family has seen for generations," Bunko said reverently, voice drowning with emotion. Her tears still fell, mingling with the dried stains against her cheeks. She did not bother with wiping them away. In that moment, she did not know any other's existence, just this woman with the heavy scar and the tears. She did not know her uncle's fury or Naruto's pride. "I owe you my boy's life, Hinata-sama. Truly."

"You owe me nothing," Hinata said on instinct.

"I owe you everything," Bunko replied.

And then she led her husband and child out of the room.

Hinata watched the small family leave the room in the echo of the shogi door, feeling a smile pull at her lips and tears sting at her eyes. Neji's face presented itself in her mind, free of blood and gore, but clean and smiling softly.

She reached behind her, grabbing Naruto by the shoulder and gently pulling him along. Hinata knew her family's decorm as well as she knew the white-washed walls of her home - it was entirely inappropriate for non-Hyuuga to be present in meetings and for the elders to be the last to leave the room. But she also knew that she did not want to be in that room to witness her great uncle's true displeasure.

The second the door behind them closed, she breathed shakily, pressing a hand to her forehead. Hinata did not look up at Naruto, and already she felt a blush beginning to stain her cheeks. He hovered too closely for comfort.

She took a while to speak - they left the door of the audience room and the compound all together, and found themselves walking along a mostly empty street. The sound of their sandals crunching against gravel, voices softly bouncing around, and the sway of leaves in their branches soothed her. The sun was still high in the sky, bright and shining down on the roads. She looked up, not even squinting into the sky.

"I still can't feel my stomach," Hinata said aloud.

He gave a croaky, raspy laugh. She could almost feel the shakiness in it. "I feel kind of...great. Like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders," he said, words in a normal voice. "You were amazing."

"_You_ were."

"This was all your idea in the first place. I wouldn't have bothered with covering my bases and given them a shit ton of loopholes to work with."

She shook her head, almost in response, and her voice came out more scolding than what she'd meant. "You're too clever for that."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said. His nose scrunched up, half smiling and half grimacing. "I'm starved. We should get lunch."

"You should head back to your office and finish your work," Hinata said, shaking her head. Her eyes skimmed over the skyline once again, feeling the sinking of her chest that was starting to become familiar. She knew it was a rejection on her part, but it felt too much like a goodbye.

And she could see it in his eyes, the way he digested her words and the distance between their bodies and the tone of her voice. It was physically painful, watching the soft smile fall away from his lips to be replaced by a blank mask. The cerulean of his eyes lost all their depth, all their mirth, replaced by a cold understanding.

It wasn't often she didn't let him have his way.

But Hinata had _meant_ what she had said in he alleyway, with kiss-bruised lips and a heart that ached with fifteen years of love for the boy who stood before her.

Except that he was no longer a boy, and she was no longer a girl, and they had responsibilities that would always come first. Or maybe it was just her - the tightrope of expectation that she had to balance on to please the Elders and keep her family safe, politics be damned. There were no more excuses for holding out her heart to him when she knew he didn't know if he could return it. There were no more excuses for her own selfishness, her own inability to grow up. She would not let them come to ruin like that.

She couldn't afford to.

"I'll walk you back," Hinata said. It took more effort than it should have to continue walking towards the Hokage Tower. He followed, almost reluctantly.

And as she stood behind him, walking down the near empty roads as their shoulders brushed together, Hinata felt the goodbye in every step she took.

.

.

.

Hinata didn't go home after she took Naruto back to his office. She declined his offer of dinner, tried swallowing back the guilt, and decided to visit Neji's grave.

She sat in the grass before his headstone, feeling freer than she had in a long, long time. Summer was ending; the night cooled enough to nip uncomfortably at bare skin and the leaves were just beginning to change color.

She always felt grateful for the end of summer - that was when her memories of Neji were the most prominent: becoming Chuunin together in the sweltering heat of Iwa as they battled their way through the final tournament round, celebrating his birthday with his team, training in the afternoon sun for hours on end, reading silently along side each other in the compound's library, and long conversations on heavy topics that made her sit too still, think too deeply.

Hyuuga Neji belonged to the dying heat, the chill of the night, the early setting of the sun. The change went _with_ him.

But at that moment, Hinata wanted to grasp the very edges of summer and suspend it in time.

.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _And fourteen thousand words later, I'm still not done. But can you blame me? Worry not, there will be a part two coming soon. But for now, you can rec me your favorite, super quality NaruHina fics because I'm desperate for some. Truly desperate. _

_Now I know I'm going to be getting some reviews saying, "Saykun, you piece of SHIT, how are you going to have Hinata just suddenly give up on Naruto when she's literally loved him her whole life?" And I get that. I do. That's the basis of her relationship to him in the series. But if you do say that, I'm probably just going to say you have to reread until you get it._


	2. we

.

.

.

Hinata was stirring her tea thoughtlessly as she sat in Sakura's living room, staring at the large map of the south western Fire Country territory.

There was some arguing, and some things thrown, and Sakura had already tried slamming Shikamaru's head into the coffee table face-first, but whenever she zoned out, she'd gotten them to settle down enough to get back on track. It was quite a rowdy bunch for this mission, filled with hot heads and rightfully burgeoning egos: Sakura, the hospital's head medic and one of the most brilliant healers in the world; Kiba, former ANBU hunter-nin; Shikamaru, the village's lead tactician and advisor to the Hokage; and Ino, head of the Interrogation and Torture department.

Then there was her, who was doing a lot more paperwork than she would have cared for and knew how to stop arguments with just a few pacifying words.

And though her friends could very well act like children - it was a guilty thought, being that they were all very responsible adults - they were also some of Konoha's more powerful shinobi. It was a sobering thought to her. Questioning her progress never felt good, though she seldom did it these days.

"Why are none of you listening to me? We can't just pick and choose what we need to take into account!" Sakura hissed, slapping an open palm against the coffee table. It shook their tea cups and the general vicinity. Hinata began to grow worried at her failing temper. "There is a virus that we need to take into account! I'm going to need time to check how the villagers got sick before we go running off to confront the raiders!"

"We can't take the chances of us getting sick, Sakura. You know as well as I do how easy it is to catch something from corpses that have been laying out for days or weeks," Shikamaru said, leaning forward onto his crossed arms. There was frustration etched into the lines on his face. "Our priority is intercepting the raiders."

"Finding an antidote to the poison will save lives - that's our priority."

"And what if the damn thing is airborne? What if we catch it?" Kiba questioned with bite in his voice, rolling his eyes at the pink haired girl.

"That's why you need to give us time to scout first. Medics can fight against any illnesses because we've been trained to identify and neutralize threats in our systems. Hinata and I can survey the attacked towns, get a sample, and then get back here to create an antidote. And anyway, it's not even-!"

"We are on a time limit. Too much travelling is going to intervene" Ino stressed, pointing at one of the towns on the map flattened out on the table. "We'd be better off just talking with the survivors and getting a sample from them."

"Don't you people listen to me!? I already did! None of the survivors had the poison in their system - which means no antibodies for me to extract!" Sakura shouted. "That's how I know that it wasn't airborne! They would have definitely caught it if it was."

"The more time we waste, the more people will be killed."

"It's not wasting time if we can find a way to preemptively evacuate civilians!"

"You are not leading this mission, Sakura. I am."

"If your authority wasn't so questionable-!"

"My authority is questionable because I'm not letting you have your way?"

Shikamaru and Sakura locked into a death stare, the air thick with tension and a very heavy sense of foreboding. It scared Hinata, because it was so rare that she sees her friends fight like this.

"Sakura's right," Hinata said, speaking for the first time in half an hour. All four of their heads perked up to look at her. She set down her tea and pointed towards the map on the coffee table with the red dot, signalling an attacked area. "There's a pattern to the places they attack - small farming towns, with lots of commerce through trade. They've been moving up to places with higher population."

Shikamaru leaned in, sighing loudly. "We can't formulate a pattern There are three possible places they're going to hit next, and we don't have the time to figure out which one," he said.

"Then we split up to investigate and scout the each town. They're each less than five kilometers apart. We can even split up and reconvene in the White Forest," Hinata said, tapping a cleanly filed nail onto a smug of landscape that was a few miles before the three towns that would be new targets. "Sakura and I can head to one of the attacked towns to gather samples for an antidote."

"Then that would leave the four of us to cover three entire towns," Shikamaru replied, raising a brow at her. She smiled sheepishly, shrugging a bit, but he shook his head. "There's too much that could go wrong with that."

"I'll keep these idiots linked together, Shika. What could go wrong?" Ino said, cocking an eyebrow at her teammate and tossing some of her hair over her shoulder. "Come on. It's better than nothing."

"Maybe the two of us should head out early?" Sakura suggested, gesturing to Hinata. "And we set a date to reconvene together."

"Will we be able to make it?" Kiba said, reaching over and tapping his own finger against the map at one of the attacked towns. "The time between each of the attacks have been too sporadic - could be in three weeks, could be tomorrow. We can't predict that. How are we going to make sure that we'll be on time?"

The five of them looked up at each other, with uneasy, guilty grimaces that all spoke the same message - they couldn't afford to be late.

"Sakura, how long will you need to make an antidote?" Shikamaru asked, looking at the pink haired woman.

Hinata watched the medic's face crumple with frustration. "At least an hour, with all the right ingredients."

"Would you need to be in a lab facility?"

She smirked a bit, uncharacteristically sardonic, and it fell from her face quickly. "It would take longer, but no, I wouldn't."

The raven haired genius nodded to himself, taking a deep breath before speaking again. All gazes converged upon him. "We can't make sure we'll be on time, but the town they attacked two days ago wasn't easy pickings for them. Some of the villagers didn't get sick and ended up fighting back. The raiders didn't leave unscathed. We'll have a few days while they get their bearings straight, at the very least," Shikamaru reasoned.

He reached over towards the map and tapped towards one of the attacked towns, closest to the suspected next targets, Weigun, then towards a possible target, Nakano. "We all leave the day after tomorrow and split off at the White Forest. Sakura, you and Hinata will go to Weigun and collect samples. You'll be able to create a sample once you're inside Nakamana. Ino and I will take Hoshi. Kiba and Shino will take Goru."

The lot of them nodded, and Hinata reached over to sip at her tea again while Sakura busied herself with kicking the boys out of her apartment. Shikamaru grumbled about troublesome women and left easily enough, but Kiba was almost dragged away, arguing that he wanted to take Ino out to eat.

"Oh, get out of my face," the blonde scoffed, shooing her boyfriend away. "I need some girl time."

Kiba wasn't placated until Ino gave him a thoroughly intimate goodbye kiss, and left after reaching over to ruffle Hinata's hair affectionately. All Sakura got was a glare and a tongue stuck out in her direction, which she returned happily with a rude finger gesture.

"I swear, that idiot," Sakura huffed, shuffling on the floor in front of the coffee table. She began to roll up the large Fire Country map, giving Ino a pointed look. "How do you put up with him."

"Love gives you a surprising amount of patience," Ino replied.

And then, as if on queue, the two of them looked towards Hinata with almost identically speculative looks. Hinata eyed them both for a weary moment before she sighed and set down her tea cup on the now-mapless coffee table.

"Is there something-?"

Hinata couldn't even get through the sentence.

"What happened with you and Naruto?"

"Why does he look so sad all of a sudden?"

Hinata sighed reaching up to scratch the back of her neck sheepishly. "It's complicated," she murmured, feeling her stomach lurch with guilt and sadness and an overwhelming realization that it would have been a good idea to stay in bed this morning. "He has feelings for me and I...I think...I-I rejected him."

There was complete silence for a few moments before Sakura blinked, covering her hand with her mouth, and Ino raising a brow. "Did he tell you he loved you?" she said.

Hinata shook her head.

Sakura's shock fell away. "Figures. The idiot," she muttered. "For the record, Naruto is head over heels for you."

"He's not," Hinata said automatically, crumpling over herself in a heavy hunch at the truth in her words. She tucked some hair behind her ear and breathed in through the aching in her chest. "He said he...we kissed during the festival a few weeks ago."

Sakura gasped, and Ino shrieked in happiness as she slapped a palm down on the table. Both had expressions of delight on their faces. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? Was it good?" Sakura interrogated. "What kind of a kisser is that boy?"

"Did you reject him because it was bad?" Ino said, scooting closer. Hinata's face lit aflame with a blush while the blonde placed a hand on her shoulder. "If you did, I completely understand and support your decision. A man who can't kiss must be terrible in bed. You deserve better than that."

Sakura choked with giggles, and Hinata bit back giggles as she nearly burrowed into herself with her knees tucked under her chin. "I never said it wasn't good," Hinata said softly. She buried her face into her knees as she blushed harder. "I just- he was very good. Very, very good. But I said we couldn't start anything between us because of...well, I don't know. More than a few reasons."

And maybe it was only one thing - his own inability or her own insecurities, she was not sure of yet.

Hinata felt Ino's hand at her back, rubbing slowly. "Alright, so he doesn't suck at kissing, but sucking in bed has not been ruled out yet," Ino said, whispering conspiratorially. "Which would be much worse."

"Ino-pig!"

"I'm just saying."

Hinata choked out a laugh as she lifted her head, feeling the tears already burning in her eyes as she smiled. "He's amazing. He's so amazing. I can't explain it. I've been in love with him since...since I was a little girl," she whispered to herself, trying desperately to keep her voice from catching. Suddenly, she she could speak, and her emotions had words, and her heart was articulating so fast and painfully that her stomach hurt. "And I don't want to start something between us when he isn't sure what he wants. I- I just- I've known known for so long. It's only ever been him and I know I can't do temporary. I won't be able to walk away from it if he realizes he doesn't have feelings for me anymore."

She hiccuped, very close to tears and horribly angry and depressed all in one. She looked up at Ino and Sakura, biting down on her lower lip before speaking again. She made sure she'd calmed her words. "It'll...ruin our friendship," she spat, flexing and clenching her hands against her thighs in agitation. "And I told him that, but I know...I know I'm being selfish, not giving him a chance. I'm just worrying about how I'll feel, but I still can't. I'm scared. I can't lose him like that."

Sakura was silent as she stood from her place against the coffee table, walking around it until she was beside Hinata. She settled down next to her, brought an arm around her shoulders, and pressed her chin against her shoulder.

"You're not being selfish. That's your heart talking to you. And it's scared," Sakura said softly, running a hand down Hinata's right shoulder. The dark haired woman sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned her head against Sakura's. "You have every right to be scared, when he hasn't proved himself yet. We all know what it's like to lose people. I know you don't want to be hurt. You just need time, Hinata."

The Hyuuga opened her pearly eyes once more, breathing shakily and staring up at the ceiling.

"She's right," Ino half-whispered, sighing in dejection. "There's not a selfish bone in your body, Hinata. And out of all of us, Naruto knows that the best. He'll understand."

Hinata shook her head, feeling disappointment in herself and in her horrid, cowardly behavior. Bile rose to her her throat "The elders are arranging an engagement for me. I'll be married by spring. I'm going through with it," she whispered. She lost their gaze as she stared down at her lap, Sakura's head shooting up from her shoulder as she twisted her fingers together nervously.

"Why? Why would you agree to that, Hinata?" Sakura said, quickly grabbing one of her hands and squeezing all the blood out of it. The frantic look in her eyes - vividly green, with gold flecks and brilliance that could have blinded her - made Hinata feel smothering guilt. "Are they forcing you?"

"Sort of," Hinata whispered back, grimacing to herself. She breathed deeply and looked away. "I know I could get out of it if I wanted to. I could postpone, delay, argue - I could fight against it. But I just...I feel like it's necessary now. They want a clan heir. I'll need to produce one eventually."

"They want to chain you down to a man as soon as possible because they're misogynistic trash who don't think older women can be married off as easily," Ino hissed, glowering at the coffee table - and suddenly, Hinata remembered her own duties to the Yamanaka clan head. The blonde turned back to Hinata and pointed a finger in her face. "You deserve a loving marriage with a man who adores you, Hinata. Nothing less. You deserve nothing less than that."

Hinata sighed, giving her friend a sad smile. "So did my mother. But she married my father without knowing a single thing about him. She learned to love him. I can do that too," the dark haired woman whispered, feeling all the energy draining out of her body through sheer terror at the prospect of facing a stranger and offering the rest of her life to him.

But her mother had done it, with so much more kindness and so much more bravery...

Though even now, ready to fall into pieces, she could not envision spending the rest of her life with anyone except Naruto.

"Not when you're in love with someone else already," Sakura reasoned desperately, shaking her head at Hinata's words. "Do you think that marrying will just...just take away your feelings?"

"Maybe distract me from them," Hinata relented, shrugging slightly. Ino sighed.

"The kind of love you have for Naruto doesn't go away, Hinata."

"The kind of love I have for Naruto is...," Hinata blanked out, wondering what she could say - everlasting, eternal, heart breakingly visceral. All of them were too personal to expound upon, even to two of her closest friends. The love she had for him was so real and so heavy it could drown her. "It'll hurt us both. I can't let my own expectations and desires weigh on his shoulders. Not anymore."

Ino sighed, giving Hinata a sad stare.

"And you call yourself the selfish one," the blonde said, raising a palm under her chin and locking lavender with blue. Hinata held her chin high, shrugging, as if quietly owning the title. "Your expectations and desires? Please. If you were really selfish..."

Sakura laughed aloud, sounding tired and heartbroken. She withdrew from Hinata slapping a hand down on the table. It shook, as a watery smile pulled at her lips as Hinata stared between the two of them. "If you were really selfish,you would jump head first and never look back," Sakura declared, sniffling a bit and raising a fist into the air. "Temporary feelings be damned. That's what being selfish is all about."

"Hell yes," Ino agreed, looking a bit misty-eyed her self.

"Don't let any human being ever convince you that you're not selfless. Because you are. You're always thinking about someone else before yourself. And you're a great kisser that's hand Naruto in a lovestruck coma for weeks," the pink haired medic said, standing and making her way towards the kitchen. "I need sake."

"Oh no you don't!" Ino snapped, rushing away from the coffee table with a pat on Hinata's shoulder and a bit of a stumble. "I'm not dealing with your drunk ass tonight, Haruno! We're having tea!"

"This is a conversation for alcohol - not tea!"

"I'll kick your ass right here and now if you don't put down that bottle! I don't mind paying damages to the building's owners!"

The only sound in the room was her the two girl's squabbling and Hinata's loud, boisterous laughter, sounding suspiciously close to sobs. The tears still ran down her face, but she smiled, gasping for air and tucking her face in between her elbow as she pressed her face into the coffee table.

.

.

.

Hinata left after a few hours, of eating and talking and getting surprisingly in depth on love and the duty of kunoichi with Ino and Sakura. There was a bit of fighting, a bit of crying, with Sasuke walking in

It was sunset by then, and as she made her way through the shinobi district towards the compound, a very painful thought came to her.

The love she had for Uzumaki Naruto had always been swelling, bursting full and bright inside of her chest. There was nothing soft or subtle about it - love for that kind of a boy could never be soft. Hinata was not a woman to love softly either. But loving Naruto filled her with so many good things. Even when she thought he would never love her in return, even when she'd confessed in front of a murderer bent on destroying the both of them, she had not once found her love for him a burden. She wasn't supposed to hold any expectations for him when she knew he didn't owe her love. It made her strong.

The boy who taught her to be brave (taught her how to be strong, taught her how to love) had never been a burden to her. But now...with the very real possibility of breaking her heart...

When had she become afraid?

She sighed, feeling the tears stinging in her eyes. A cool, comforting wind blew over her.

.

That night, Hinata was diligently packing.

And, well, being interrogated by her sister.

Hanabi wasn't a hotheaded person. She was calm, cool, and collected, in a severe way that was reminiscent of their father. Even after years of his more loving and relaxed parenting, she was always a carefully guarded person. It was rare for her to be mad. She was usually coy and playful in her own cynical, sarcastic manner.

But the second she'd burst through the door to Hinata's room, startling her into dropping an entire pack of kunai on the floor, the older woman could feel her fury.

"You're getting married!?" Hanabi snapped, walking forward and crossing her arms.

Hinata sighed loudly, glancing towards the ceiling in vain. "Yes, I am."

"Why the hell would you do that? You just ended the sealing practices, and the next second you're letting those bastards arrange the rest of your life for you?" she all but shrieked, eyes wide and wild and vicious. "I don't get it! Truly, I don't! You aren't making any sense!"

"There's nothing for you to get, Hanabi-chan. This is not your decision to make," Hinata said. She bent down and grasped her kunai pack from the floor before stuffing it into her pack.

"It's not about me! It's about you being in love with Naruto-nii-san!" Hanabi shouted.

"It's not his decision to make either. It has nothing to do with him," Hinata lied smoothly, her voice going cold. Heavy, thick guilt sank into her stomach like cement at the tone she was using with her younger sister. She didn't want to start an argument, of all things, over something so painless.

"You can't just-!"

"I can."

Decided to switch tactics, her younger sister took on a pleading voice and stepped closer, placing a hand just between Hinata's shoulder blades as she continued to fold a pair of extra clothes. "You don't have to go through with this. No matter what the elders say, you can always fight this," Hanabi murmured, the desperation in her tone pulling at her older sister's heartstrings. "Just- just don't let yourself be pressured into a decision you know you don't want to make."

"I'm not a child," Hinata sighed, stepping away from her sister's touch to face her. She saw the flash of hurt that crossed her face before it settled into a blank mask and felt her stomach roll with self hatred. "This is a decision I have made of my own will. The elders want an heir as soon as possible."

"Why can't they wait?" Hanabi hissed, angry again. "What's the big deal?"

"I'm still an active kunoichi. Right now, if I were to die, you would become clan head. That's not a responsibility I want you to needlessly shoulder."

"So you- you don't think I could handle being clan head? Is that what this is about?" Hanabi snapped, suddenly angry. Her pleas were immediately forgotten. "Are you forgetting that Otou-sama made me clan heir because you were too weak? Are you forgetting that it took you years to be able to beat me in a fight?"

Hinata recoiled, as if slapped. Cold dread filled her body as she watched Hanabi's anger turn into shock, stammering out a way to fix her words. "Do you think I could forget that?" Hinata whispered. "I don't want to you be clan head because it is hard and...and cumbersome. It is a pain. I do not want to load that onto you."

As tears began to sting in her eyes, she sighed shakily. "Naruto-kun does not love me. I'm not sure if he'll ever be able to. And my feelings for him aren't transient. There's- there is no point in holding out for unrequited love. Not for something temporary. The clan needs an heir," Hinata whispered, feeling her throat tighten with impending tears - the weakness of it made her heart clench at her own failure. "This is not about you, Hanabi. This is not your burden."

Hinata put down the clothes she was folding onto her bed, and stepped away form her silent sister. She moved towards the doors to her private garden and slipped away.

She walked forward, feeling the cold, dewy grass underneath her feet as she hiccuped and coughed. Quiet tears streamed down her face.

.

.

.

Hotoka was a short man - just a few inches taller than herself. He had a particularly heavy build, with muscles coiled tightly under his clothes. His hair was a silky jet black, held together at the back of his head in a high pony tail that fell to his shoulder blades. He was wearing his ANBU uniform, with pristine white armor, minus his sandals. There was not a hint of weaponry on him - only a small scroll strapped to his thigh. He had sharp, severe features, with a full mouth that pulled into a displeased line, and dark circles under pale Byakugan eyes.

Hinata wondered if he always looked this angry.

She walked into the tea room silently, with her uncle Hiashi a few steps behind her. Suddenly, she felt uncomfortably over dressed with her kimono and suffocating obi.

Hotoka looked over towards the entrance and saw the two of them before immediately standing and bowing. Hinata inclined her head in response, but her uncle held still behind her. It gave her an inkling of frustration at the rudeness of his gesture.

"Hinata-sama, Hibashi-oji-sama, please excuse my appearance," Hotoka said immediately, sounding slightly annoyed. "I've just come from an assignment, and I did not want to be late."

Hinata shook her head and gave a polite smile. "It's quite alright, Hotoka-san," she said.

He nodded, looking between herself and her great uncle. The ANBU operative gave a particularly annoyed look, a sarcastic sneer he did not bother hiding. "Shall we have tea then, Hinata-sama?" Hotoka asked blatantly, quirking a brow.

She couldn't see her uncle's expression, but she knew immediately that it wasn't a nice one by the tone he used. "Of course. I'll leave the two of you be, then. Hotoka-kun seems very eager to be left alone in your presence, niece," the older man said, placing a hand on Hinata's shoulder. She turned her head to meet his gaze, but he was not looking at her.

Hotoka's expression turned venomous, if possible, as Hibashi exited the room and shut the shogi door's screen behind him.

Hinata tried smiling again, but the other shinobi only managed to sigh and wave a hand at her as he walked back towards his seat on the tatami mats. She blushed in embarrassment and followed him, sitting on the other side of the small, raised table that held their food and tea. She asked him how he would like his tea, and he requested three spoons of sugar and ample amount of milk. As she began make them each a cup, with the smell of Jasmine lofting thick through the air, Hotoka just hitched his leg up towards to rest an arm over his knee.

"I have no interest in marrying right now," Hotoka said aloud suddenly.

Hinata spilled some of the sugar that she was pouring into her own cup, and blushed even harder, this time out of anger. "What?" she said.

"My career is very important to me at the moment," Hotoka said, brows furrowing as a scowl worked its way onto his face. "I was recently promoted to Captain status and I can't look after a family. I have no interest in marrying right now, Hinata-sama. I know it would have been rude to decline your request for tea, but I feel like I must be honest now."

"Who said I wanted to marry you?" Hinata said out loud, cold and questioning. She finished putting sugar in her tea and looked resolutely at the container of milk as she began pouring. "Are you presuming yourself that desirable?"

"O-of course not, Hinata-sama."

"Then are you presuming me that desperate? To immediately decide your own fate for my own sake?"

"Never, Hinata-sama!"

She finished with his tea and handed it towards him. When she looked up, she saw his relaxed sitting position had fallen away as he hunched over with legs crossed underneath him. His head was bowed as he scowled to himself, staring down at his hands.

A pang of guilt hit her severely, like a physical blow - it wasn't fair to interrogate him like that. He was probably much more nervous than her. And annoyed with her great uncle's insinuations.

And maybe tired, too, from the looks of it.

She breathed slow and held out the cup of tea for him to lifted his head up to see her smiling. He hesitantly took the cup of tea that she offered him. "I'm teasing, Hotoka-san," Hinata said, smiling kindly. He visibly relaxed. "We're just having tea. No one is marrying anyone."

He nodded, looked down at the cup of tea, and took a sip. He sighed. "Did that bastard Hibashi put you up to this?" Hotoka asked. Hinata almost had to bite back a grin.

"No. I am...looking for a husband in a sense, and Hibashi-oji-sama set this up for me. I wasn't too keen on attending, to be honest," Hinata said, tasting the words on her tongue. She didn't like them one bit. The anxiousness fell away to the abstract sadness she'd been drowning in since she'd awoken this morning.

"You shouldn't be. Early twenties, right? You're still young," Hibashi said, his voice suddenly reproachful. He looked like he was ready to give her a lecture, the way he immediately straightened and fixed her with a serious stare. "My own mother did not marry until she was in her thirty five. There is no need for you to be trying to settle down so quickly."

"Her career was important to her."

"Yes. She was in ANBU for seventeen years before she married and had me."

Hinata nodded, smiling a bit as she began to make her own cup of tea - with much more sugar. "Yumi-oba, right?" she said.

The man before her had a pedigree, even by her standards - his parents had been elite shinobi, his grandfather had been a war hero in the Second Shinobi World War, and his (as well as her's) great grandfather had been the child of Hyuuga Horisami, the clan head who joined with Konoha's Senju and Uchiha to become one of the four great noble clans. He reminded her of Neji, in a vague sense, with a cynical and jaded edge to him that would only come with too many horrors and age.

Hotoka nodded. "Fearsome woman," he said, as if speaking about a comrade instead of his own mother.

"I'd love to continue with my career as well - and I plan to until I am physically incapable of doing so," Hinata said, her voice whole and earnest. She began stirring sugar into her tea as she thought to herself. "The elders want an heir, and it's something I am less eager to fight them on."

"You seemed quite eager to fight them from what I heard the other day," Hotoka said with a raised brow.

She shrugged, trying not to think about it very much and failing miserably. "Abolishing the sealing practices was always apart of my agenda. The elders saw it coming, to a point where there foresight was a hindrance to me. But in the end, I got my way. I made sure they couldn't fight me on it. Marriage is a whole other buisness," Hinata said, giving a small shrug. "The clan needs an heir."

"I don't believe so. Not to be presumptuous. I know I don't have your responsibilities weighing on my shoulders," he answered her, correcting himself unnecessarily. He was inherently polite and it mad her crack a small grin. "A family's all good and well, as long as you take your time with it."

"Of course."

They spoke for a long time, topics ranging from their family, to the village, to literature and kunai sharpening techniques and anything in between. It was comforting, as if talking to an older brother with the tendency to lecture her. The more they spoke, the less polite he became, cracking sharp sarcastic remarks and laughing deeply. Hinata began noticing the smaller details of him, from the long scar that seemed to mutilate his left hand when he took off his gloves, the pastel blue tinge to his pale eyes, and the way he constantly shifted around on the tatami mats as if he was incapable of sitting still for very long.

It made her suddenly depressed, as she thought about the man before. The balance of pride he held that did that fall into arrogance and the genuine kindness of his smile truly got to her.

But there was no way she could spend the rest of her life to him.

Hinata sipped her tea and nodded along to a story Hotoka was telling her, about trying to navigate himself out of northern Lightning Country mountains.

It was almost unfair how thoroughly Naruto had her wrapped around his finger. How long would he have his name branded onto her heart?

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sudden appearance of a large, angry looking toad that was now sitting in Hotoka's knee. While Hinata choked on her tea, the raven haired man looked down at the wart-covered amphibian and with a look of astonishment and anger.

"You're kidding me," Hotoka said aloud. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. New assignment, Hyuuga," the toad croaked. "Get your ass moving."

Hotoka choved the creature off of him, and it landed gracefully beside him. "This has to be a mistake. I came back from a two month assignment today. Hokage-sama just took me off the mission's roster himself. How can he change his mind so suddenly? Are you sure you aren't making some kind of mistake?" he snapped, setting down his tea on the small table before him.

"Stop trying to question me. Naruto-sama seemed angry too, so I suggest you just make your way down to HQ and get your fucking assignment," the toad said. It blinked, then looked towards Hinata. "Uh, 'scuse me."

It disappeared in plumes of white smoke.

Hotoka sighed, long and loud, looking genuinely distressed. It broke Hinata's heart, the way the weariness of his face seemed to double as he set down his cup of tea and stand. "I'm sorry. It's rude of me to have to leave so suddenly, Hinata-sama," he apologized.

"Don't," Hinata amended, standing with him. She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder and smile weakly. "It's not your fault."

He nodded, leaning to his side and taking out a small scroll strapped to his left side. Hinata watched him unseal his ANBU mask, shaped into a snout-nosed pig, as well as two holster packs of kunai and shuriken. He expertly put on his gear within seconds, and then finally unsealed a white cloak.

Hinata gave a small, timid grin, as Hotoka became a faceless agent before her eyes.

"I hope that's going to keep you warm. It's getting chilly outside," she teased.

His shoulders shook as he laughed deeply before her, and the sound of his voice comforted her. "Of course, Hinata-sama. But we should do this again. You're quite charming when you aren't abusing your leadership powers," Hotoka said sarcastically.

"As long as you find some time to sleep between now and then," Hinata replied. "I'm sure I'll still be charming with eight hours of sleep every night."

"Ah, true. But you'll have to take that up with the Hokage. I don't think he likes his operatives in working condition." He placed a gloved hand on top of her head, ruffling her sleek navy hair, before slipping quietly out of the room, down the compound halls. His chakra signature disappeared soon after.

But the chakra signature of a toad summons sitting outside the room did not.

The dark haired woman stood there, waiting until it slipped away from the consciousness of her sixth sense, probably disappearing back towards its summoner. Minutes of staring at the wall, thoughts running through her head, and one thick swallow before she finally stood.

She didn't feel her hands shaking through the haze of rage.

.

.

.

Hinata showed up to Naruto's apartment a quarter past seven, in normal working clothes. Her toe nails were painted a bright red, and as she stood in front of his door inside of his building, she stared at the tiny, pale appendages, wiggling them absently as she tried clearing her thoughts.

She knew he wasn't home, but she'd sensed him leaving the Hokage Tower just as she'd angrily changed out of her kimono and scrubbed the makeup from her face. After getting herself together, into her usual day clothing, toeing on a pair of sandals, and nearly sprinting out of the compound doors, she'd lost her nerve within moments. The very thought of it had her trudging along the streets of Konoha in abject terror. The idea of it was rather silly and made her cheeks stain red for no particular reason. Her, give Uzumaki Naruto a talking to?

The frog had given her a hunch - they relayed messages. Summons were primarily used for information gathering. There were certain exceptions to the rule, unfortunately, and toads were one of them. There was nothing stealthy about toads - not when they couldn't properly mask their chakra like other summons. And they gave off quite a bit of it too.

And she didn't have any proof...but...

She was not an idiot. She knew what that frog was lingering around for.

The clan head sighed heavily as she stood outside the door and leaned against the opposite wall, thinking of the four minutes it took for her to find her nerve and anger once more. It hadn't been hard, recalling the tired, haggard look on Hotoka's face as he began to leave...

No, it had been particularly easy to find her anger again.

At that moment, Hinata heard the sounds of several footsteps and talking as Team Seven entered the building below her. She was on the top floor (the fifth), but the building had a strange set up, with the staircase at the end of the hall facing the front doors directly, leaving lots of open space for noise to echo. There didn't seem to be any sort of elevator that she could find, and it didn't surprise her, seeing as that Naruto always lived in the heart of the shinobi district.

Hinata breathed in slowly, feeling her already fast-paced heartbeat double in its speed, her skin tingling hot at a sudden cool breeze of air. Adrenaline doused her system, turning everything haywire, but she managed to stand away from the wall and stare coldly at the door to the Hokage's apartment.

They'd stopped talking - they'd sensed her as soon as they made it inside the building, so the murmurs died down when she could finally see the lot of them at the end of the hall. Sasuke, in uniform sans flak jacket, carried what seemed to be two bags of groceries. Beside him, still dressed in her hospital coat, Sakura held a particularly large scroll in one hand as she half whispered to him. Sai, in ANBU uniform with his mask skewed to the side of his head, had his hands shoved in his pockets. Naruto, all bright hair and grim face and near florescent orange Hokage cloak billowing around him, held a large stack of paperwork in his hands.

His eyes were firmly on her.

Hinata turned and held his stare, crossing her arms.

He hadn't gotten within two feet of her when she'd spoken. "We need to speak," she said, hard. "Privately."

There was a defiant glittering in his blue eyes, and he nodded deftly, shoving the large folders into Sakura's unwaiting hands. She sputtered angrily, attempting to balance the papers and the large scroll in hand, looking ready to toss the papers all over the floor.

"If you do that one more time, you idiot, Hinata's not going to be the only one kicking your ass," the pink haired woman seethed, shoving the paper to Sai next, who blinked and stared in confusion. She reached into a pocket of his cloak, pulled out his keys, and began unlocking the door.

"I'm the Hokage! If I need you to hold something-!"

"You don't have to be so-!"

"I'm not letting you two do this right now," Sasuke snapped, glaring at Naruto and brushing him aside as Sakura opened the door. He gave the Hokage a raised brow look that Hinata found surprisingly dangerous. "We'll get dinner started."

And with that, the Uchiha followed Sakura into Naruto's apartment, with Sai close behind. He gave her a perfunctory, polite smile as he passed, not giving up the opportunity to rile up his blonde friend before entering his home. "If you do happen to kill Dickless, please alert us so that we are able to put his share away for leftovers," the dark haired man said, neatly dodging a punch.

"Fucking- get the hell away from me!" Naruto hissed, angrily taking off his cloak and tossing at Sai's face. It made a smacking sound as it impacted. He slammed the door on the ANBU member with a huff. Then, he turned on Hinata, who's cold glare turned weary at the sight of his strain. "What were you doing with Hotoka today?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Why were you hanging around him all afternoon?"

Hinata laughed humorlessly, giving him sharp look as she took a pointed step away from him. "Do you really think you're allowed to interrogate me right now? After the stunt you pulled? My personal life has nothing to do with you. Who I spend my time with has nothing to do with you," she said, incredulous and angry. Naruto sighed harshly, not answering her. "What you did to Hotoka today was cruel. You were being petty and the only one who lost from it was him."

"I wasn't-!"

"No! I am speaking!" Hinata spat, cutting him off. She hadn't raised her voice that much, but the venom in it stopped him cold. "You are going to call back Hotoka from assignment and give him a month's paid vacation. You will personally apologize for attempting to overwork him like a common dog because of your childish, misguided feelings."

"My misguided feelings!?" Naruto shrieked, taking a step forward. She took one back accordingly, keeping the space between them. It enraged him further. "Do you think it makes sense to be in love with someone and then just decide to marry someone else? Do you? All because you don't- don't trust them? That's misguided!"

"Don't you dare- I trust you!" the dark haired woman shouted back, hands balling into fists. "I trust you with my life!"

"You don't trust me with your heart," he spat bitterly. "You don't. And it hurts."

Hinata gaped, unable to speak, his words taking the very air from her lungs. She swallowed thickly, her hands beginning their subtle shake as she remembered the day he left for his travels, with scars not yet scabbed over and countless adventures awaiting him. It stung, brought an ache to her chest, tore her apart as she watched him leave. Hinata remembered the smile he'd given her - so heavy with emotion, so kind, so full of life - that she couldn't get out of her head for the next month. Hinata remembered her heart quietly breaking all over again.

A hard, knowing expression fell over her face, replacing the shock. "What-what...what reason have you given me to do so, Naruto-kun?" Hinata whispered to him.

Naruto fell silent, the anger draining from him slowly as he eyed his own shoes. She stared at his blonde head of hair, feeling so tired and so frustrated, so painfully lonely in that second. Her tongue began moving without her permission. "I know you put him on border patrol in Ame. I checked. You'll recall him immediately. I'm not afraid to report you to the council," she murmured, trying to keep the guilt out of her voice. His head jolted up in surprise. "Not over this. Not when you so...so blatantly abused your power to be...to be petty. To be mean."

"You wouldn't," Naruto said, finding some steel in his voice.

"I would. I-I'm not above keeping quiet to Tsunade-sama either," Hinata replied. She swallowed thickly, as if trying to settle something toxic down her throat, and looked at her toes and the nail polish that shone in the low light of the apartment building. Her nerve was still there somewhere, deep in side, bringing her forward, with threats too heavy for her own courage.

But she knew she would - for the tired, unhappy look on Hotoka's face, she would.

"You get to come home, eat a hot meal, and sleep in your own bed tonight. Hotoka-san doesn't," Hinata muttered, on the verge of anger once again. It was frustrating, how the two of them being so petty ended up hurting someone who did not deserve it. "And that's your fault. Fix it by tonight."

She was walking before she understood where she was going, passing him, clenching her teeth when her shoulder brushed against his bicep, and clenching her fists as her breathing shook with the weight of keeping her tears at bay.

Hinata would not cry - not like this. Not here.

This wasn't about her.

"Kiba...Kiba talked to me today when he came by the office," Naruto said aloud, his voice rough and heavy. her entire body paused, staring down the stairwell at the end of the hall and wishing to sprint after it. She didn't care if he followed. "I almost broke my desk. I was so- so pissed. I wanted to clock Hyuu- I wanted to him. And I...I figured out the best way how."

His excuse was weak, and she knew it, but she allowed it to him.

Still, Hinata stayed silent.

Naruto laughed, then breathed deeply, his breath rattling almost as hard as her's. "This isn't going to go away. You can't ignore everything and think it's just going to...to disappear. I'm not going anywhere, Hinata," he said, finishing himself with an angry growl of conviction. It made her shiver. "I'm not. I know that's what you're afraid of."

Hinata closed her eyes as they began to sting - behind her lids, she saw Pein, not moving an inch forward, ready to strike her down with nothing but an errant wave of his hand. She saw Naruto, pinned down with steel rods and the horror of his failure. She saw her hair flying in front of her eyes as she sprinted towards her death. She saw a thousand different moments at once, colors nearly blurring as each image was caught with her perfect, faultless vision.

All she heard was the same angry, heartbroken voice he used as she confronted her would-be murderer.

Don't use that voice on me, she wanted to snap, wanted to scream in his face. It was rare for her to want to raise her voice, not since the night her father died and the doctors would not let her inside of his room.

Her stomach rolled in a similar sort of terror as she realized what she needed to do.

"I thought I wasn't afraid of anything. But you proved me wrong," Hinata whispered to him. She knew her voice would carry. If she spoke any louder, she might end of anyway. "You, and your temporary, fleeting feelings, scare me the most."

"There's nothing fleeting about the way I feel!" Naruto roared.

But she was already walking, trying to make it to the stairwell. He followed, his footsteps loud and echoing.

"I won't give up! I can't! Not for this!" Naruto shouted, this sound ringing in her ears - the voice of a hero, no longer broken, no longer anguished. He spoke as a messiah. It make her feel flush with warmth with hot shivers of fear. "Not for you!"

She did not speak.

She could feel him getting closer - her entire consciousness drawn to his presence as he sprinted for a second, grasping a hold of her arm. Hinata faced away, head ducked down as her eyes began to sting painfully. His hand slid down to her own hand, thread their fingers together as she shook and felt a sob bubbling up to her throat.

"I can't give up, Hinata," Naruto pleaded, his voice catching. Hinata stood still, eyes shut tightly as tears leaked through. "I didn't give up on becoming Hokage. I didn't give up on protecting Konoha. I didn't give up on Sasuke. You think I'd...I'd just give up on you?"

"Pl-please let go of me," Hinata whispered, pulling at his hand weakly.

"Look at me, Hinata. Just-just look at me."

"Naruto-kun, please."

"Hinata-chan, just...just look at me."

He pulled her towards him, into the space of his body, and she let him, as pliant within the grasp of his hand - warm and calloused. Suddenly, all her resolve and all her pain was so far away, because was sixteen and flooded with his chakra again. The heat of it wrapped around her like a cloak. Her breathing was rattling, and so was his, the sound of it making her dizzy.

He'd invaded all her senses but one - and she she opened her eyes, he was leaning in, pressing their forehead together.

Naruto's sky blue eyes were half lidded, a little weary, a little sad. There was no lust like last time. He pleaded, and he waited for her to answer as his eyes fluttered shut.

Hinata tried breathing deeply, but it still rattled, still shook, as if her very foundations were unstable. She'd been through the destruction of her home, faced a god of shinobi down to what should have been her death, survived a war. She's killed people and watched them be killed. She's watched children die. The man who made her feel so horrifyingly vulnerable, the man who made her feel the most indestructible, and she kept him waiting as she drank in the moment. His long, unkempt hair tickled the crown of her head as he dropped forward. Their hands only remained linked by a few of their fingers, dangling promisingly.

Her heart beat belonged to a hummingbird, speeding deliriously through her chest. Hinata kept Naruto waiting, a promise in the air between them, as she drank in the moment.

There had been, and would be, nothing worse than this moment.

I'll remember this, she promised to herself, her heart breaking. I'm going to remember this. Even if I ever fall out of love with you, I'll remember. I promise.

Uzumaki Naruto felt answered prayers, more than anything she'd ever known, and she knew she would remember this second for the rest of her life.

She pulled away, unlinking their fingers and pulling away from his body, she whispered a weak, pathetic apology to him. She began to stumble away, from the warmth and willingness of his body, and rub harshly at her face with her forearm. He didn't let her - Naruto reached forward to clasp her wrist inside of his calloused hand. Hinata clamped her eyes shut tightly as he pulled her back to him again, painfully nervous of this boy.

"Don't be afraid of me," Naruto rasped, squeezing down onto her wrist. "Please."

"It's not just you," Hinata whispered, croaking out a sorry laugh. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

And this time, when she pulled away from his grasp, and stumbled away in a mess of heartbreak, he let her slip through his fingers.

.

.

.

Sakura was always the earliest to arrive for missions. Her punctuality was a constant, for all the times they'd met at the village gates horrifyingly early in the morning, sleep still crusting inside of their eyes and yawns held back for the sake of propriety.

At the moment, she stood with Sasuke, with thigh-high boots and worn leather gloves. Even geared up for a mission, she still looked soft and feminine. Hinata used to envy her for it sometimes, because there were still days when she looked into the mirror just to see a plain, pale little girl, but now she just appreciated her friend's beauty for what it was. The striking rose petal pink of her hair, mint green of her eyes, and room-brightening grin stood out against a kunoichi's attire. Toss in medical supplies and a sharp wit, and you had Haruno Sakura.

Hinata closed in on the pair, scratching at a mosquito bite at the back of her neck and smiling amiably. They stood close - perhaps intimately close - as they looked up to see her.

"Good morning," she announced to the pair.

"Morning, Hinata," Sakura said brightly, not a hint of tiredness on her face. Sasuke gave Hinata polite nod as he shoved his hands into his pockets and shifted subtly away from Sakura. It made Hinata bite back a smile. "You ready for today?"

"Very," Hinata answered.

They made idle chit chat for a minute, with Sasuke being a casual observer per usual, before he saw Kiba, riding on Akamaru, and Shino heading up the road. He bid the two of them a quiet goodbye. Passing Kiba, who gave him a friendly punch in the arm, which was returned with a slap upside the head that nearly knocked him off the dog.

Sakura watched him leave with a wistful smirk.

"You look happy," Hinata teased.

"But you don't," Sakura stated calmly. Their eyes met. "Care to explain?"

The bluntness of her words caught the dark haired woman off guard completely, making her stagger mentally. She stuttered out some sort of reply at the questioning - because no, she wouldn't care to explain at all, if she'd have it her way - worried gaze that Sakura gave her, but Kiba was already shouting her name in greeting.

Hinata chose to ignore it, breathing deeply and greeting her teammate. And things flowed from there; idle greetings, making sure Shino was up to date on the mission details, inquiring to where he was only to receive a vague answer, checking supplies, rechecking supplies, berating Ino for being late, a bit of arguing, complaining about Shikamaru being late, and a bit of gossip on the blonde's part.

"I'm going to murder that idiot if he's another minute late!" Ino hissed, arms crossed as she began to stalk. Hinata watched passively, sighing and wiggling her nail-polish free toes. "Do you guys know how early I got up today? Four in the morning! And for what? Ibiki-baka-sensei dragged me out of bed for an interrogation of stragglers ANBU found on the border! And what did we accomplish? NOTHING! And Shikamaru is probably fucking asleep! I can't stand it!"

A gust of white smoke appeared suddenly, and, as if summoned, Shikamaru appeared before them.

"Alright, everyone here?" he prompted, looking around the group of shinobi as if doing a mental head count. He turned to Shino, clapping him on the shoulder. "Good to see you, Aburame. Let's get going."

Ino hand connected furiously to the back of his head.

.

.

.

It was a few hour's travel by her estimation. They sprinted through the trees with concealed chakra, with Shikamaru and Hinata at the front, routinely using her Byakugan to check the surrounding area. Shino travelled behind him, along with Ino. Sakura was between them in the most defended position, which she took to begrudgingly. Kiba and Akamaru brought up the rear.

The fast paced, muscle exerting part of missions always kept her mind from thinking too deeply. It was a calm reprieve - half her night had been spent in desperate, heartbroken thoughts.

Now, with the wind whipping her face and tossing her hair out behind her shoulders, she felt some semblance of peace. The mission objective played over and over again in her head. And though she dreaded spending alone time with Sakura, and Ino lurking within their thoughts, she decided that she could stall enough. There was a mission at hand.

They're reached the White Forest easily enough. Pale, off white, teak wood trees began to replace the hearty oak of the Fire Country's constant forestry.

Shikamaru motioned for her land onto the ground below them, and she followed, balancing on branches until her sandals crunched against summer-drowned grass. He pulled a kunai from the holster on his right thigh as everyone began to descend to the forest floor along them. He walked towards the nearest tree, the pale wood glaring at him immaculately. He lodged the kunai deeply into the tree, then stepped back, turning to stare at his team.

"We reconvene two days from now at this spot," the Nara announced, pointing at the kunai. "Gather as much information as you can. Investigate anything suspicious. Keep in touch if something goes on."

Shikamaru met Ino's gaze, and nodded. She returned it, and began making her rounds. She stepped out towards him, pulled out his arm, and formed hand seals. Hinata watched as a seal formed on Shikamaru's wrist, imbued with her chakra. Ino did the same with the rest of the team, giving Kiba a flirtatious wink when she planted his seal onto his wrist (which was happily returned).

Ino finished, making more hand seals. The hand seals on each of their wrists glowed, imbued with her chakra.

Alright, you idiots. You know the drill, Ino shouted within their minds. In front of them, she smirked, hands on her hips. Shikamaru sighed weaily, looking towards the canopy of trees overhead. Sakura snorted. Focus your chakra into the seal to connect with everyone, then again to turn it off. If you need to talk to someone specifically, focus on their chakra signature alone.

We get this speech every time, Shikamaru sighed. We know, Ino.

Just making sure, she replied happily.

Alright, Kiba snapped. Let's get the hell- "Bah- let's just go!"

Shikamaru nodded, and spoke aloud this time. "You all have your orders. Let's move out."

.

.

.

Sakura and Hinata didn't speak.

There was the occasional pointing and motioning for directional purposes, but other than that, they did not communicate through voices. The only sounds they were met with were the constant sounds of the forest's living creatures and open breeze.

Entering Weigun made her heart hurt; it was a moderately small trading town with old fashioned buildings and lots of tribal art decorating different houses and shops. They'd been left to ruin. The bodies were still there, laying out to rot in the brutal Fire Country sun, some rotted out with illness and disease. Those were where Sakura gravitated towards. They went inside the houses emptied of valuables, crouching down to collect samples of skin and blood from the stiff, unresponsive corpses. Hinata had to take several moments between each extraction and sample selection to compose herself.

Watching the children was the worst. Seeing their cold, yellowed skin, and their gaunt faces made her entire body ache. But she attempted to keep a clinically professional face on.

She could barely acknowledge Sakura's grimaces of understanding, of sympathy. Something inside her made her want to give her a hug.

The dead that were gutted and left open to the elements - from vicious, horrid acts of violence - were left unapproachable by the medics. There were very little secrets that the murdered could tell them now.

And it was like they were treading on sacred ground, in which they did not belong. They stood in the aftermath of a massacre.

The two of them left the town as they'd entered, without words. It was half an hour between Weigun and Nakamana at a dead sprint, but for some reason, they trudged at a walk. With the unnatural disposition of the sun's brightness, they squinted before them and did not will away their somber moods.

"This disgusts me," Hinata whispered as she watched Sakura place the small vials carefully inside of her pack. The pink haired woman looked up, but Hinata could not meet her eyes. "Shinobi did this. It's...I'm ashamed. I can't explain it."

"I get it. We're supposed to be the protectors, aren't we?" Sakura said, giving a shrug and taking in a shaky breath. She flipped her pack onto her back and began adjusting the straps. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to not look at each other as they continued forward. "We're supposed to be the ones that keep civilians from doing this."

"That's why they teach us how to fight," Hinata replied throatily. She looked down at her shoes as she walked. Not a hint of polish in sight on her pale, white toes. "They used that knowledge to hurt...hurt so many innocent people."

"I'm not even...I'm not angry about it," Sakura said. Then she sighed. "Yet. I'll find it in me when I see a target I can punch."

"I understand you. This...I don't feel inclined to violence right now. I'm...sad," Hinata answered her. She looked up, towards the skye, and watched the puffy white clouds float by peacefully, hanging over the ghost town of murdered men, women, and children. It kept harder and harder trying to find the right words. "I'm ashamed. I wanted to- to bury every single one of those bodies. Let them leave behind their bodies with some kind of dignity."

Sakura nodded, biting down on her lip. "That's...that's what Naruto wants to change. This system. The way that shinobi think. We can't- we can't lord our power over civilians like this. We can't abuse our power like this," she said, her voice shaking in horror. Hinata hadn't even tensed up at the mention of his name - she was too lost in her own misery. "And when he talks about the cycle of hatred, he sounds so old. So tired. Getting reports on the attacks...aged him, I guess."

"That's what he wants to change the most," Hinata whispered, squeezing her lids shut at the sudden stinging in her eyes. "The cycle of hatred."

"He wants to change the world," Sakura murmured, a quiet addendum to herself. "Sometimes I believe him more than I should."

Hinata nodded, but she knew she agreed more strongly than she could express. Sakura knew it too. Still, they walked unnaturally slow into the White Forest, surrounded by the false innocence of white flower petals and too many bad thoughts.

It took a moment, but Sakura spoke again. "There's no one in the world like Naruto. He's not just strong. He's...overwhelmingly kind," she said. Her voice was strong, though it wavered at some points. "And I know you know. You know more than me. It took me half a lifetime to understand how good of a person he is. Better than me and Sasuke."

That's not true, Hinata wanted to lash out - because Haruno Sakura is painfully good and kind and strong. Hinata knows that she could find those very same characteristics in Uchiha Sasuke if she tried hard enough, because he is loved so deeply by two very amazing people.

She remained silent.

"He touches people's hearts in a way I can't...comprehend. I don't know. It's just...," her voice wavered again, and she gave a harsh breath as if irritated. Sakura stopped, but Hinata continued walking, because she didn't want to hear this. "If there was one person in the world that would never break your heart, it would be Naruto. It will always be him."

Hinata paused, turned slightly. Gave a pathetic shrug.

"Not intentionally," she said. Her voice was flimsy and soft. "Never intentionally."

"And neither would Sasuke," Sakura says boldly. Hinata knows she's throwing her heart out on a line for her to catch, but she is still too afraid to grab a hold of it. "When- when he was _sane_, when he cared about Team Seven, he always did what he thought was the best for us. I can recognize that now. It was only ever to spare us the pain. Even if that meant distancing himself. And that's what the people in our lives always do. But sometimes, it just ends up hurting everyone more."

Hinata's eyes started stinging again, but she didn't answer. All she did was face away from Sakura guiltily.

"This _won't_ do you or Naruto any good! This won't make you happy! I know! Because Sasuke tried, and he failed to keep me at arms length. Sometimes you can't guarantee the future. Sometimes the future is _terrifying_," the pink haired woman proclaimed, with all the righteousness and heartbreak in the world threaded through her words. It was too painful to listen to. "But don't you dare refuse yourself out of fear! Because he was scared to kiss you, but he _did_, and now look where it left him!"

"I'm not Naruto. I'm _afraid_! I'll always be waiting for him t-to understand what he got himself into!_ People fall out of love_!" Hinata screamed, her voice cracking. Her entire body shook at the strain of it, trying to hold still. "I'm not brave, Sakura."

"You are. You are so, so brave," Sakura said, her voice getting nearer and nearer. She reached forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Besides," Sakura murmured, a teasing note in her tone. It made her almost nervous at the shift in her mood as she walked past Hinata, deeper into the forest. "You were the one who taught him how to love."

.

.

.

The rest of the mission went by in a depressive mood. The towns were staked out for a few days, without any incoming reports. A week later, a town on the northern border to Fire Country was attacked in the same modus operandi as the other towns.

They were recalled, sent home empty handed, awaiting new orders on the raiders. They made it home by nightfall with disappointment heavy in the air. Shikamaru volunteered to report their inconclusive mission findings, and they all gave each other mumbled farewells. Hinata lingered the longest, looking around the village's gates in the low lights of dusk, scuffing her sandals against the gravel road as she finally trudged forward.

She was sweaty, tired, and aching desperately for a comfortable place to sleep. Her entire body was ready to shut down.

But her feet did not take her towards the Hyuuga Compound.

The thought of facing any of her elders, or even her sister, at that moment, made her stomach roll in displeasure. The thought of sneaking into her own home made her tongue sour in displeasure.

Hinata walked the streets of Konoha like a ghost left to old ruins, in the quiet streets with dark clouds and heavy atmosphere. She felt haunted, still picturing Weigun as the ghost town it will become for generations more, and she felt as if she'd returned only to haunt this lively village hidden in the leaves.

Well, not that it looked so lively now.

She was making her way past a small convenience store when she felt muted chakra presences around her.

Frowning, she activated her Byakugan and looked up, seeing a few ANBU operatives hanging about on top of the store's building. Another stood in the shadows a few dozen feet away from her. A third hid in the shadows of the store's entrance, as if standing guard.

It took her a moment to understand, but she only did when she saw Naruto leaving the small convenience store, wiping his nose angrily with a small, plastic white bag in hand. His hair was messy, falling to far into his face, and he wore a white shirt over a pair of ridiculously loud flannel pants. Toad slippers adorned his feet, looking old and worse for wear.

She was approaching him before she'd fully processed her motives.

"Why are you out so late?" Hinata called out, sounding like a concerned mother bear. Kiba would have made fun of her for it.

The blonde jumped, whirling around to face her. The ANBU member closest to the store's entrance sighed heavily at the startled reaction. "It's past midnight," she prompted it. "Why are you out so late in your pajamas?"

"W-what are _you_ doing out so late?" Naruto demanded in a distinctly stuffy voice - he sounded as if he were pinching his nose closed. He pouted, finding his answer in her mission gear and the pack situated neatly onto her shoulders.

"I just got home," Hinata replied. Her stare was icy sharp."Are you sick?"

"No," he muttered.

She stepped forward anyway, ignoring her own feelings. It hurt, seeing the pained look in his eyes and uncomfortable squirming. She reached up on her toes to press her palm against his forehead. Hinata sighed aloud at the ridiculous amount of heat that his skin was giving of. She stepped back into a respectable distance from him as quickly as she could.

"Your fever feels bad. You're lucky I don't have a thermometer on me right now," Hinata said, distinctly stern. "It'll rain soon, and there's a chill out. You shouldn't be out at all."

"I wanted some food," Naruto mumbled. "M'fine."

"Ramen is not food. It's a highly processed snack, Naruto-kun," Hinata replied. She looked around, frowning at the ANBU member that was standing by the convenience store dutifully. "Why did you let him out? He's running a high fever."

"Who are you telling? He sneezed in my face at least twice today," the operative shot back.

"Sorry, Haru," Naruto mumbled out.

"Snake-san, Hokage-sama."

"Oh- uh, yeah. Sorry Snake-san."

"It's fine, Hokage-sama," the operative - Haru - answered.

"I'll take over from here. I can make him some real food and get him into bed," Hinata said, taking the bag of ramen from Naruto's hand. He gave a distinct, high pitched whine that made her stomach drop (_Unwanted_, her mind whispered to her), but she ignored him again. "Does he have anything to cook with at home, or do I need to stop by a store?"

"He does. Kakashi-san brought him a few things earlier today," Haru answered her.

"Good. The three of you can take the night off," Hinata said.

Haru signalled the other operatives in some manner, and soon they were flanking each of his sides as they walked up towards them. She saw the ANBU uniforms and animal masks clear as day. "And Hokage-sama will be fine with this?" Haru prompted.

"Are you seriously questioning leaving him alone with a cute girl?" Cricket Mask asked, sounding disbelieving. "Don't be an idiot."

"Hinata-sama is more than cute. She's a grown woman," Horse Mask shot back. Then he bowed his head low towards her. "No disrespect meant, Hinata-sama."

"The both of you watch it," Naruto growled, pointing a menacing finger towards Cricket Mask. "I swear to god Yorui- Cricket-san, a fever won't keep me from dragging your ass up and down this village. Don't fucking ogle."

"Point taken," Cricket-san repied. Then he stretched out his bulky form, then bowed low. "Alright then. We're off. Take good care of our Hokage-sama, Hinata-sama. He'll need it."

Naruto jerked forward with a raised fist as Cricket-san jetted off, but Hinata held on tightly to his forearm to stop him. The other two operatives dismissed themselves. It made her smile a bit, knowing how informal and accepting they were to her.

"I hate those guys," Naruto muttered, pulling away from her grasp and staring down at his toad slippers.

"You love them," Hinata replied. She waved him over, continuing on down the street towards his apartment. "Let's get you home. I'll make you something warm."

He didn't say anything towards it. The dark haired woman felt his soft, lingering stare at her back as she lead him forward, towards his home.

.

.

.

Naruto's home had been a team effort: Sasuke had found an apartment with locations close enough to the training center and shinobi district, while also being rather close to the Hokage building itself; Sakura had ordered all his furniture and helped him put together most of it; Sai had painted homely pieces that fit right into the warmth of the reds and yellows and browns of the apartment that were all framed and hung up neatly; Hinata had handled getting all of his dishes, pots, pants, and utensils; Ino and Kiba gave him several different rugs for the hardwood floors.

The end result was a lot of gratefulness on Naruto's part and one very spiffy apartment. Even now, as she entered with a very sullen, very sick Hokage at her heels, she could see his own personal touches here and there. She spied worn pillows on the couches and decorative seals on different places in the room (which she assumed held different types of weaponry in case of an attack).

"Go sit on the couch. I'll make you something to eat," Hinata said, guiding him so he could sit in his living room. He tossed off his slippers at the door way, and she did the same with her sandals.

"You don't have to do all this you know," Naruto mumbled, managing to sit down properly without her help. "I know you're tired. You should go home and get some sleep."

"I'll be perfectly fine here. It'll only be for a moment," Hinata replied, reaching over and running her hands through his thick blonde hair. He let out a groan as her nails scrapped inside of his scalp, then suddenly leaned forward, away from her reach to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Are you alright?"

He leaned forward further, looking stressed. "Fine."

Hinata nodded, frowning in confusion, before rushing off to his bedroom. She nodded in approval at how it seemed quite neat, even at his state. She grabbed the thickest comforter from his bed, and pulled it with her to bring back into the living room.

Naruto was still pinching the bridge of his nose when she returned, muttering something unintelligible to himself. She tossed the blanket over his head, blanketing him in it until only his head stuck out from in the middle of it.

He grunted, trying to pull it off from his head to look at her. His expression was guarded and disgruntled, but she met him with an honest, scared smile.

He responded with his own timid, however tentatively.

"I'll go cook now," she said. "Get comfortable."

He did.

And when she came back with a large steaming bowl of miso soup and hot rice, with a pot filled with other foods, he was fast asleep on the couch with the blanket burrowed around him.

Hinata sighed, wiping at her sweaty forehead as she set down the tray of food at the coffee table in front of him. Dressed in a dark shirt and nin-pants, her bare feet tread purposely made noise against the wooden floors to wake him up and it did, jerking him awake as he looked around sleepily.

"Naruto-kun," she murmured, gathering his attention. He tensed up at her voice until their eyes met and recognition flooded past the sleepiness in his eyes. "Sit up for me."

Naruto nodded, adjusting himself around the blanket so he could sit up against the couch. He huffed, stretching this way and that as she brought the tray of food towards him. He took it from her, their fingertips brushing together. It made her blush, and feeling stupid, she immediately stepped away from him as he set it onto his lap.

"I'll-um, I'll...," Hinata mumbled, looking at her toes. She wiggled them, wishing there was a color there to distract her. She began rattling off anything she could think of. "I left more food out for you. You can just reheat it in the morning. Lots of liquids and tea will be good for you. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Spending the night would be nice," Naruto said, giving her a pointed look. After taking a few voracious bites of the food, he picked up the large cup of tea, inhaling the steam that came from it. He looked so drowsy that it made her stomach ache in worry. "It's late and I can hear the rain from here. I don't want you going outside right now."

Hinata blinked, squinting to focus on the sound of rainfall, but could not pinpoint it herself. "Alright," she murmured, nodding. "I just...I need to shower."

"Go right ahead. You can borrow some of my clothes, and I'll toss your's into the wash," Naruto replied. Then he looked up, looking sheepish. "Well...eventually, I guess. Not the best at keeping up with laundry."

"Or folding it," Hinata replied, a smile pulling at the edges of her lips.

"C'mon. I'm a master folder," Naruto tossed back. He waved her off, gesturing with his mug of tea. "Now get. You've been in the same mission clothes all day. A hot shower is waiting."

"Thank you," she said gratefully, wanting to reach out and press a hand against his shoulder. She repressed the urge, just giving him a soft smile as she passed. "Oh, and drink your tea."

"Aw damn. I bet it's nasty," Naruto complained, surveying the liquid.

"It is. Citrus and ginger."

"I _hate_ ginger!"

She heard his exaggerated sounds of disgust as she made her way into his room to get clothes, giggling the whole way through.

.

.

.

Half an hour later, Hinata found herself dressed head to toe in Naruto's jonin shirt, boxers, and socks. She'd opted out of wearing her bra, and deciding to steal a blanket to not advertise the fact as she returned to the living room. Rebelliously, she'd decided to wash her hair as well. It was currently tied up into a neat bun at the top of her head. The shower had been divine - using Naruto's soap and shampoo made the entire room fill with warmth and his scent. She'd stood under the spray for an immeasurable amount of time just soaking in the peace of the moment.

But now, she sat beside him, as he ate a second helping of soup and the tea. He gagged a few times at the tea, but she'd encouraged him all the way through. She patted his shoulder and smiled as he set the empty cup down.

"I knew you could do it," Hinata said. "Wasn't that bad."

"Don't worry. It was worse the second time around," Naruto said gruffly. The sleepiness in his voice hadn't left, and it made her smile grow. "But the Hokage has to be able to handle every terrible situation."

"Including nasty tea."

"_Especially_ nasty tea."

"Your throat will feel amazing when you wake up. I guarantee it," Hinata informed.

He nodded, seeming to tire out from talking for the moment. He finished off the food on the tray, and then set over on the small standing table beside the couch's arm. Naruto shut down, leaning back into the couch and breathing deeply. He began curling into the blanket again. Hinata watched him, tilting her head to the side and stifling a heavy yawn.

"You smell good," Naruto whispered, his voice catching. He clenched his fists.

"I smell like you," Hinata said instinctively, the words coming out strained.

He opened his eyes, leaning into the couch further, as if to escape. "Why did you take care of me tonight?" Naruto asked. "Why are you here?"

"Because you needed to be taken care of," Hinata said sternly. She let herself tuck her knees under her chin and wrap her arms around her legs. "I couldn't leave you alone."

"I had the guys with me. Watching me is a bother," he told her, as if confessing a great sin. Her stomach lurched in guilt at his tone, and she knew what he was trying to say. "It's hard being with you like this Hinata. I can't- I'm not good at this. We aren't the same anymore."

When she found it, she gripped it hard, callouses and all, and he finally met her eyes. There was a strained look in his clear, perfect blue eyes. Hinata pursed her lips, shaking her head.

"I'm never going to leave you alone," she said, forcing the volume into her voice. "Ever again. I did that for our entire childhood. I won't let it happen again. Do you understand me?"

"You know I don't blame you for that. I don't blame _anyone_ for that," Naruto tossed back, not meeting her eyes. He heaved a long, weary sigh. "You shouldn't blame yourself for that."

Hinata shook her head. "But I do. I blame the village too," she admitted. "I blame myself for being weak and for a coward. But I'm stronger now. So no matter what, I'm going to be by your side, however you need me."

"You were never weak."

"And neither were you."

Naruto remained silent, staring at his toes, before their eyes met once more. The fierce ocean blue of his eyes stunned her for a moment, vividly clear with turmoil boiling deep inside of them, turmoil etched across the rest of his face as well.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I _know_ Sakura talked to you,," Naruto said, sitting up with a frown marring his face. He broke his hand from her's to grasp her chin within his fingers. "Whatever you want out of me, that's for _you_ to decide. Only you get to decide that."

Hinata smiled, wide and big and watery, before leaning her forehead into his. "I was only ever meant to have all of you, Naruto-kun" she whispered. "And I've been running from that for a while now. I can't do it anymore now."

He blinked, emotion wiping clean from his face to make way for shock.

"I wore you out," Naruto muttered. She felt his head tilt against her's and it made her teary smile grow.

"You've worn me out," Hinata whispered.

Disbelief turned into shock and awe, rounding out his expression. It fell flat, soft and introspective as his fingertips ghosted over her jawline. "I never meant to make you scared. You know I'll _never_ hurt you," Naruto swore, his voice thick with emotion. "You can trust me with your heart."

"I know I can," Hinata murmured. "I always could. I'm sorry it took me a while to see it."

"You saw everything so much clearer before I did," Naruto huffed. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Her face and neck went red at the motion, but between the warmth of the blankets and his body, she did not protest one bit. He gave a soft, strained laugh that she felt all the way up her spine. "You had perfect vision from the beginning."

"I never had perfect vision. Never. The only thing I ever saw was _you_," Hinata muttered.

It struck her, how true the statement was, as they got closer and closer. He was still so terribly blinding, blocking out her vision, all reason and logic and understanding, perfect eyes be damned. He thought _she_ was the sun? There wasn't a human alive that emitted his light - pure and good, making everything in its path bloom.

There was nothing subtle about Naruto; there was nothing subtle about sunlight, about his voice and his laughter and his presence that could fill a village up with his warmth.

He was the sun - her perfect sight had only ever been compromised by his light.

Naruto pressed her lips into his, angling her mouth against his as their lips moved. It was an urgent, heartbreaking kiss, more pain than passion than she remembered from the first or the second time.

She tasted tangy ginger tea and purely him on his tongue, filling herself up with the taste, wanting desperately to commit it to memory. Her lips were chapped and her fingers were cold, but she kissed him like she would not see her next morning. She surged forward, biting down on his lower lip and reaching towards the back of his neck to play with his hair. He groaned, low and deep, deepening the kiss with his tongue, and he brought out her own soft, satisfied sounds.

Her skin tingled, urging her to draw herself even more closely to his body. The weariness of her trip had all but left her for now.

He broke away, panting deeply. "I like your hair down," Naruto huffed, looking determined. He reached up and untied the bun at the top of her head, letting her half-dried hair tumble down her back. Hinata closed her eyes as she felt him thread his fingers through the length of it, dancing along her back.

"I like your hair _long_," Hinata murmured back. She dragged her hand - nails and all - through the back of his scalp and felt the rumble inside of his chest against her's. "Never cut it."

"Hmm. Demanding," he teased tiredly. She blushed, ducking her head slightly. "I like it."

"Just- just a little bit. I promise," Hinata replied. She shifted her arms to wrap around his waist. She pressed her face into his collar bones and breathed him in. Everything about him was hypnotizing, spell-binding and enchanting in the best way.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I promise too."

.

.

.

_I promise_.

It struck her with a quiet consternation as Naruto drew his bed covers over their exhausted bodies. It repeated in his sickness-rasping voice just behind her skull. I promise, I promise, I promise.

There was still so much left she wanted to say, but it didn't feel right to speak yet.

...but it wouldn't matter. Hinata breathed deeply as she pressed her nose into the column of Naruto's throat and let herself fall into slumber. It wouldn't matter because they had tomorrow, when another day of summer coming to a close would shine kind rays of light down on the both of them. It wouldn't matter when she knew they had so many more tomorrow's.

Besidies, she'd already promised to be brave.

For tonight, that would suffice.

.

.

.

**A/N:**_ I was desperately trying to write...a certain scene for this fic. Alas, it would not cooperate. But I am still so in love with this, you can't understand. NaruHina makes me feel so optimistic about love. I want to spend a lifetime loving someone, give them all my heart and energy and space that I can muster.  
><em>

_I hoped you enjoyed. At almost thirty thousand words, this thing was a goddamn labor of love, emphasis on the labor. Hope you enjoyed. Remember to review!  
><em>


End file.
